Hello, our dear readers! Today's article about raising children is not an ordinary one. What makes it special is that it was sent to us by a reader. In this article she shares her experience.

I would compare the weather with the modern film industry. You watch the trailer for a new film, and you immediately want to run to the cinema. You run to the cinema, buy a ticket and realize that you have been deceived!

But this, of course, is a joke. I love my children very much, but sometimes raising children of the same age leads to a dead end of hysterics, irritation and nerves.

Rule number one. Daily routine and self-discipline.

How to cope with two kids? First of all, you need to properly organize your day. I started by analyzing my emotional and physical costs, time thieves, etc.

Fortunately, what saved me was that even before the birth of my second child, I taught my firstborn to a strict routine. We ate on time, walked, played and went to bed. We approached the birth of our second child almost automatically - this significantly reduced my labor costs.

Rule number two. Help me? Yes please!

At first, my upbringing of the weather was based on the scheme: “I myself - myself - myself.” Pull two strollers and two kids outside? No problem! Sweaty and red, I was content with my self-sufficiency for a long time. But then it dawned on me: why? After all, you can ask for help:

* husband;

* husband's relatives;

* your relatives;

* friends;

* girlfriends;

* neighbors;

* random passers-by.

I confess to you very honestly: in my heart I was ALWAYS ashamed to ask someone for help. It seemed to me that I was obliging people. Such emotions overcame me even if I had to ask very close people for help.

Step by step I began to “break” myself. At first she asked for mere little things. Having become stronger in this field, she moved on: she asked to run into the store or help lower the same stroller. So you shouldn’t refuse anyone’s help.

Rule number three. Each one has a roll.

Raising the same age is a very interesting in its complexity process of working with jealousy. It is very important to pay attention to everyone here. And at the same time, caring for one can be combined with communication with another. For example, when I feed the younger one, the older one always fusses with us. He either watches the feeding process, or we talk to him or play simple oral games. In the end, you can tell a fairy tale.

Rule number four. Two children = two personalities.

Do you know what is most important for me in raising children? This is awareness and acceptance of the fact that two children are two different personalities with their own tastes and characters. In our nursery, each of the boys has their own little corner. The youngest has only a crib and playpen for now, while the older one has his own play area and bed. In the future, I believe it will be necessary to separate space and toys even more. In my opinion, children should understand that every thing has an owner. And you can’t take someone else’s property (even if it’s a brother or sister’s) without permission!

Rule number five. Two products in one.

Parenting is a remarkable ability to raise two wonderful people at the same time. And instill in them such important qualities as cooperation and compromise. I try to diversify our games: in a playful way, children should learn to make joint decisions. Team games help bring “rivals” closer together and show one simple truth: victory is achievable only through joint efforts! Why do I like this rule? It simultaneously performs two functions (and, therefore, saves my time): it takes the children’s time and develops them as individuals.

Mother of two adorable kids
Olga Alekseeva.

photo by Elena Medvedeva.

The cornerstone from which joint parenting begins is the moment when the youngest child begins to walk independently. If until this moment all games for children of the same age were limited to the manipulations of the elder with the younger, then from this moment you can begin to involve children in joint activities and teach them to play with each other.

Simple and interesting, games for two small children can quite effectively boost the development of both kids. After all, two children initially grow up in a competitive environment, which serves as a springboard for the ambitions of the older child and a motivational factor for the development of the second child. That is why it is worth paying your close attention to creativity and games for two children.

Games for the weather - how to organize the gameplay

Raising children is a rather specific process, and one of its nuances is playing together. No matter how your kids’ relationship develops, you should always remember that children of the same age are an ideal play couple. As soon as the youngest of the children begins to move at least on all fours, your two-year-olds immediately begin to have exciting activities - they can crawl after each other or look at pictures and toys together. Children will come up with some entertainment themselves, and some ideas can be suggested to children by their parents. Literally three to four months will pass, and you can offer them other games for two children at home and outside. But for your kids to play successfully, it’s worth knowing some facts.

• Kids, regardless of the difference in age, and even more so the weather, perfectly find a common language and play wonderfully together. One of the children sits, the other lies, one crawls, and the other runs away from the first.
• Children of the same age have quite a lot of common interests, this helps them get closer, especially if parents help children find common ground. Kids have a lot in common - interests, toys, parents, this is your chance to instill in children love and interest in each other.
• Younger children always reach out to their firstborn, trying to imitate him in everything, and as a result they develop faster.
• You should not pull children away from each other, asking them to each do their own thing in different corners. You should not point out that these toys belong to the elder, or scold the first-born for interfering with the baby’s games. Let the children get used to playing together and spending as much time as possible playing with each other - this will be to their benefit and will free up your hands.
• If just at the time of the birth of your second child, your firstborn began to actively explore the surrounding space, make your home as safe as possible. Remove all unnecessary items from the shelves, screw cabinets and chests of drawers to the walls, put all kinds of child protection on windows, sockets, doors and corners. This will make it much easier for you to take care of your baby, without fear of being distracted even for a minute from your older child.
• If you cannot decide how to organize classes with each of the children, then make it simpler: do it all together. Information for the baby is a repetition of the material covered for the older child, and new knowledge for the first-born will be picked up on the fly by the younger child.
• The same-sex ones are very prone to competition. Try to build all games on the basis of cooperation, when the kids need to reach some goal together. But in games of a competitive nature, the emphasis should be placed not on winning, but on the process of the game itself.
• Don't forget that each child has their own character, temperament and hobbies. Whatever the temptation to place them in the same developmental activities, it is worth listening to the opinions and desires of each of the children. By attending diverse classes and developing in different areas, children will not attract the attention of their parents to themselves, rejoicing in the achievements of both themselves and their brother or sister.

Even if children periodically have disputes, fights and conflicts, nevertheless, none of the children can imagine their life without the other, because not every child is so lucky - to have a playmate around the clock. Your peers are almost the same age and often have similar interests and hobbies. You can see activities that kids can indulge in without the participation of parents in the article “Independent games or 40 ways to entertain children”, however, in this article we will offer both independent games for the weather, and joint games - a mother with two children, or even games for the whole family with dad.

Educational games for two children

All parents want to give their children as much as possible of everything they might need in life. This also applies to early development, because it is until the age of seven that a child’s cognitive function is at its highest. That is why it is worth noting some educational games for two children that your age will surely enjoy.

Mosaic – we create pictures from small details

More diligent girls of the same age willingly put together interesting pictures from small particles, but boys will also enjoy this. As children grow, the mosaic elements should decrease in size, which is necessary for the development of fine motor skills and dexterity in children.

At the same time, there is a lot of mosaics, and it is quite enough to captivate both children for some time. And with joint efforts they can easily create real masterpieces!

We develop logic and tactile sensitivity in children

Most often, boys of the same age like to delve into small details, but girls are not far behind them. Therefore, children who are prone to perseverance will happily sort through a bunch of mixed screws, beans, beads and pasta, putting them in different jars, mixing them with their hands and scattering them around the room. You can arrange objects in containers not only according to their type, but also based on their color, shape, and whether they are edible or not.

However, such a game must be carried out under the supervision of adults, otherwise the bean may end up in the nose, and the screw in the stomach. To avoid this, you can play with edible objects, such as candied fruits and nuts.

Puzzles – a sea of ​​benefits and interest

Puzzles are invaluable helpers in the development of your children; they not only appeal to all kids, but also contribute to the development of logic, fine motor skills, and observation.

Modern manufacturers offer different puzzles for every age. The older child can already be given puzzles consisting of 9-16 pieces, and the baby can be offered soft foam rubber puzzles, broken into pieces from 2 to 5. However, the mother should captivate the younger child with the game and control it, otherwise, if neglected, the work of the firstborn, puzzles, may suffer which will be scattered, licked or torn.

Reading - a look into the magical world of fairy tales

Nothing will develop your children's imagination and vocabulary more than reading works of fiction. Reading books together will be interesting for both kids, especially those of a similar age. In the same age, there is rarely a contradiction in the recommended literature, when one still needs to read Teremok, and the second – about pirates and fairies. Most often, children of the same age willingly listen to works that are common to their age.

We should not forget that we live in the 21st century. Children also really like audio fairy tales, books with talking buttons, toys that tell fairy tales and sing songs.

These are not all educational games that can be offered to both children at once; any game can be adapted in such a way that it is accessible to both the older and the youngest child.

Role-playing games for two young children

Starting from about two years old, children willingly play role-playing games; moreover, such games are a certain stage in a child’s growing up. For example, boys the same age enthusiastically fight with swords, drive buses, play pirates and ninjas, while girls imagine themselves as princesses and try on the role of a fairy. And children of both sexes willingly support games of hospital, kindergarten and mother-daughter games. The imagination of children is inexhaustible, especially since together you can realize many more interesting scenarios. And if the children don’t come up with ideas on their own, then adults will give them some worthwhile ideas. The most popular game options can be summarized as follows.

Cooking from a chef in a restaurant or drinking tea at home?

Of course, girls of the same age are more willing to play cooking, but boys in those families where the father often stands at the stove also like to try on the role of a cook.

Most often, culinary masterpieces are imaginary, or made from toy products, but brave mothers can give their children ordinary products - medium-sized vegetables, cheese or sausage, a couple of slices of bread. Children will be happy to feed themselves, each other and their large army of robots and dolls.

Good Doctor Aibolit

It doesn’t matter whether you are same-sex or opposite-sex, all children love to play doctor and patient. Most often, the older child treats the younger one to everyone’s satisfaction, since the first-born has more life experience, and also visits to the doctor.

Children happily play with purchased doctor's kits, but the purpose of half of the items in them, with the exception of a syringe and a stethoscope, is unknown even to their parents. Therefore, it is a good idea to supplement the set with small candies and round confectionery toppings depicting pills, tinted water, cotton pads, bandages and adhesive plaster. A magnifying glass, measuring tape and doctor's glasses are welcome. Glasses are the most important thing!

A rock band gives an exclusive concert in your home!

Among modern toys for all children, half or a third are sound variations or imitation of musical instruments. It's easy to get kids interested in playing a synthesizer, whistle, trumpet, drum or tambourine together. And if the whole family organizes a rock concert together, it will be an unforgettable experience.

You can even create a certain image, put on wigs, sunglasses and rock!

Lego constructor - choose roles to suit your taste

Lego is a wonderful thematic construction set that absolutely all parents and children are familiar with. Now you can choose any series of the famous toy - Lego firefighters, Lego princesses in a magic castle, and Lego zoo.

Construction from ready-made elements develops children's motor skills, imagination, and role-playing variations provide rich food for children's imagination and imagination. Construction sets differ in the size of the building elements depending on the age of the children, but the ones are almost always in the same age range.

If the child has not yet “ripened” to construction, then it is quite possible to play the game “city mayor and the formidable Godzilla”, in which the older one builds, and the younger one destroys what has been built to everyone’s delight.

“Voynushka” – a school of life

Even if you are of different genders, it will be difficult for you to avoid this game, and even more so for parents of two boys. But the parents of two girls may well not be familiar with the destructive power of this role-playing game. Nevertheless, the game is fun, familiar to everyone since childhood and does not require much explanation.

Wigwam - Indian dwelling

Young children, like children of any other age, will happily climb into a large box or a special tent, where you can organize a circus, a castle, a headquarters, or just a cozy little house.

Creative weather games

All children respond favorably to creative activities. And even those of opposite sexes - a girl and a boy - will willingly engage in creativity together, spending quietly and peacefully from 20 minutes to a couple of hours.

Masterpieces of your painters

Drawing is a great way to develop your children holistically. This includes fine motor skills, a sense of shape and color, the development of thinking and perception, and much, much more. It is also a universal activity that absolutely all children enjoy. Under your supervision, children can draw with paints and felt-tip pens, and for independent drawing, they can be given pencils, wax crayons, or even regular chalk and a slate board.

Ease of execution - coloring pages

Coloring is much easier than doing it yourself, but it requires kids to be careful. There are large figures for little ones, or coloring pages with more details for older children. And lately, many parents have been printing coloring books directly on the printer.

Applications – creativity for everyone

Both children will enjoy making appliques. You can prepare everything for the mother, or you can organize the process in such a way that the firstborn will cut out the shapes, and the baby will stick them on.

It is not necessary to use only paper - feel free to include cotton pads, cereals, fine sand, and ordinary leaves in the list of possible equipment. All in your hands!

Our whole life is theater!

Both kids can enjoy watching home theater scenes in which their parents play roles, or using a puppet theater to perform their own performances. To do this, you don’t even need to buy a special children’s home theater; just finger puppets and a blanket are enough.

Young sculptors

Both boys and girls will appreciate these entertainments, even if your children are of different genders. Plasticine itself provides unlimited scope for children’s imagination, but the modern world also offers numerous solutions for the lazy and unwilling to think - ice cream factories, plasticine Jurassic Park, and plasticine clothes for your favorite Disney princesses.

You can even make homemade harmless plasticine, sculpt from colored salt dough, make figurines from plaster, and use plasticine in applications.

Creativity is one of the leading activities of children, and, of course, this is the lion's share of the development and upbringing of children. In addition, outdoor games for two children are actively used in education, about which a separate, no less interesting article has been written.

Raising the weather with the help of games

Games for two small children are of great importance in their development and form the basis for such an important matter as raising children. Using your imagination and with the proper desire, you can come up with many activities that will develop the necessary skills in both children, and adapt them to the conditions of the difference in age, level of knowledge and skills of your age. And we will offer you even more interesting ideas in subsequent articles!

Everyone knows that most families raise children of the same age - children with a small age difference. At the moment when the mother needs to take the children to classes, to classes, to prepare them for school, some difficulties begin to arise.

When there are children of the same age in a family, a special situation arises for their development. Children are considered the same age if their age difference is no more than 2 years.

The needs of such children are similar, but not at all the same. A preschooler overcomes another developmental step every few months. And children of the same age are in such a position that the younger child can catch up with the older one (but this is only in his opinion).

Emotional state of children

People of opposite sexes and people of the same sex are happy that they have a brother and sister. They are never bored, have someone to play with and misbehave with, especially when their parents are distracted by something. Children the same age from early childhood gain experience and knowledge in communication and care. It is much easier for them to establish contact with other children, and this helps them develop quickly and comprehensively. If parents send their children to kindergarten late, then the psychological loss for them will be minimal.

Positive sides

• Don't spill the water. Before you decide to have children the same age, you should look into the future. These children will certainly have many similar hobbies; they will not be bored if their parents are not around. This gives mom more free time, which she can devote to herself or just relax.
• Repeated experience of a parent. After the birth of their first baby, parents try on a new role. Until the second toddler appears, after a long period of time, everything that has happened is quickly forgotten. And if the parents have children the same age, then all the acquired knowledge is used in raising the second child.
• Do you want to cultivate strict discipline and a deep sense of responsibility in yourself? Children of the same age are what you need! It will be necessary to keep track of time and control the daily routine. But you shouldn’t overestimate yourself.
• Minimal jealousy. Statistics established by psychologists indicate that feelings of jealousy in children the same age towards their mother and father are expressed much less and not as often as in those children whose age difference is much greater. And if jealousy does exist, it is not expressed so actively.
• Weather education. The psychology of these children works in such a way that the younger ones strive to be like their older brothers or sisters. If one child learns to count, then another will be interested in it, thus more benefits can be brought.
• Getting used to society. Trips to children's kindergarten, and then to school, is very often a stressful factor not only for adults, but also for children. Children of the same age often go to the same group or class. Together it is much easier for them to get used to the new team.
• “No” to selfishness. Children of the same age know from birth that the world does not revolve only around a specific person. They get used to the need to share, listen to the words and needs of loved ones. In such a situation, the chances of raising respected individuals increase significantly.

Negative sides

Not everything is as simple as it first seems. Det. A garden in a house also has its negative aspects.

• The first year with such children causes various difficulties, it is the most difficult. Each toddler will demand more attention, love and affection for his person. At first, the mother will be “torn” between the children and tired both physically and mentally. Try to reassure yourself that this won't last too long.
• Health. Childbirth is a natural process, but the mother’s body must rest. A second early pregnancy may not be perceived by the body as the mother expects. But if the mother follows all the doctor’s recommendations and follows the correct daily routine, the second children are born into this world strong and healthy.
• You will have to depend on someone all the time. It’s not very difficult to ask to babysit one little one, but when it’s the same weather... It’s awkward to impose all the time, rather than asking for help and going about business with two little ones, it’s very inconvenient and takes a lot of time. It is possible to raise children the same age alone, but by doing this, there is a high probability of encountering insurmountable difficulties.
• Nerves, stressful situations. After the birth of the family, responsibility for upbringing remains with the mother, since the father is the breadwinner of the family. Lack of normal rest and the constant noise and screams of children, and in such children they happen often, can unsettle the calmest of people. Loss of strength, depression, aggressive behavior - all this is close. Will such a mother have happy children? The conclusion suggests itself.
• Inability to breastfeed. Some doctors are against the idea of ​​a mother breastfeeding her first while she is pregnant with her second baby. The reason for this opinion is the risk of uterine contraction, which can cause a miscarriage. On the other hand, leaving a baby without breast milk is bad.
• More attention. Quiet weather is something from the world of fantasy, but in our case it’s children who are unable to sit in one place. They are fascinated by everything, they want to touch and taste everything. You can still keep track of one baby, but with the weather it’s much more difficult to do this, especially when they go to different rooms.
• Disrupted daily schedule. You can forget about good nights, at least at the first stage. You can ease the situation and put the babies in separate rooms, but this option is not suitable for all parents.
• Illusions about economic benefits. Yes, in some situations there will, of course, be savings, but they will not be noticeable to you. Think about it yourself: you will need twice as many diapers, and there is no need to talk about infant formula and porridge. And if the girls are of different genders, then after a while they need to be settled in different rooms, and this again means waste. When the kids start going to school, the money will go even faster. Things, books, classes, and then graduation and admission to university.
• Swearing and quarrels. Children of the same age have similar interests, but their character and opinion on a certain situation will be different. Children who cannot control their feelings and emotions will swear, quarrel and become hysterical all the time. Chaos will reign in the house, and mom will become either a robot or a hysteric.

Many “nightmares” can be predicted ahead of time and prepared for them, this will simplify what is already not the easiest period of time for yourself.

• Think about those moments when you need to leave your baby with someone. For example, if one child needs to go to the hospital for a while, then the other child should stay at home with someone. Ignoring this point and relying on my own strength, in just a couple of months my mother will be dizzy with thoughts: how can I cope alone?

This may not happen, but you need to think about it just in case. If the weather is still in your plans, then ask your relatives and friends in advance if they will help you if something happens. If the answers are negative, then you shouldn’t risk it; it’s better to postpone the birth of your second baby until the eldest is 5-6 years old.

• Get yourself helpers. A dishwasher, sewing machine, vacuum cleaner, multicooker and other household appliances will greatly help reduce the burden on an already tired mother.
• Try combining children's mode. This way mom will be a little freer and can relax a little.
• Be patient and optimistic. Children who receive a lot of attention and love are happy children. They perfectly sense the psychological climate in the family, and constant hysterics and quarrels often indicate difficulties in the relationship between parents, which need to be resolved very quickly.

Difficulties will arise only during the first three to four years. But time will pass very quickly. The kids will grow up and go to kindergarten, then they will start going to school and the difficulties will be the same as in families with two children. But children of the same age will always be very friendly and devoted friends.

But it’s up to you to decide whether to give birth the same way. If you are not afraid of difficulties and are confident in your abilities, then feel free to take this step. However, it is worth consulting with a doctor after the birth of your first baby; if the doctor finds no contraindications, you can get down to business. There is no need to be afraid. Children are the main happiness in our lives.

Many may think that if children have a small age difference, this makes life easier for parents. In reality, everything is not so simple. Raising children of the same age is a rather difficult process.

Imagine a one-year-old baby who felt his mother’s love to the fullest, and suddenly his world changes completely. The place at my mother's breast is occupied by someone else. If it is already possible to explain something to an older child, then what to do with such a baby?

Rivalry most often arises between children of the same age, and it can be very difficult to cope with it.

But if kids are raised correctly, they will become true friends.

Daily routine for children of the same age

To cope with two kids, you need to properly organize your day. The same age is not twins, and their desires and needs will be completely different.

Even before the birth of your second baby, teach your firstborn to a strict routine. You must know exactly when children eat and when they go to bed.

Do not refuse the help of your relatives, this will help you free up at least some of your time.

When you feed your baby, let the older one stay with you too. Let him watch how the baby eats. You can talk to him or play simple games, you can read a book. The eldest child is desperately jealous of the “newcomer”’s mother. Raising such children is a constant struggle with this jealousy.

Weather - two personalities

You must take into account that your children are two different individuals with their own characters and tastes. Consider giving each child his own little corner where he can retire. Each child should have his own toys, and children should clearly understand this. You cannot take a brother or sister's toys without the owner's permission. You can play with them, but you can't break them.

Raising children the same age

You can work with two children at once. Make one part of the lesson easier so that the younger one can express himself, and the second part more difficult for the older one. The younger one will follow the older one.

When playing with children, try to come up with games where children will have to cooperate with each other so that they can achieve victory only together. Such games will help unite and bring “rivals” closer together.

And again, take into account the different tastes of children. If one of them is interested in music, then it is not at all necessary to take the second child to music school. Remember that this is raising two personalities, two different children, albeit with a very small age difference.

Children of the same age are all advantages

Children of the same age are often close friends. They play together, go to the same kindergarten and go to school almost at the same time. This makes it easier for them to adapt to a new environment.

In order for children to quickly make friends and fall in love with each other, there is no need to interfere with their communication. Very often, parents do this out of fear that the elder may harm the baby with an awkward movement. But under adult supervision, such communication will be safe and very useful for both children. And if the older child helps you take care of the younger one, give you a bottle, rock a stroller or crib, affection will appear much earlier.

Of course, the first year after the birth of your second child will not be an easy period. During this time, children's developmental processes will be very different. The elder begins to actively explore the world, discovering something new every day. And the younger one cannot yet join him in this.

In addition, the firstborn still remembers that just recently he had your undivided attention. And the appearance of a new child in the mother’s arms causes jealousy and resentment. But over time, these problems will resolve themselves.

The older child forgets that he was once the only one. He becomes interested in playing with the grown-up baby, teaching him to walk, talk, and play with just toys. And the youngest learns everything very quickly.

When the weather gets older, the small age difference, which caused so many problems at first, becomes very convenient for both children and parents. Children will have common interests and activities.

The older one will forget the time when he was an only child and will remember how he grew up with the younger one, so there will be less jealousy and rivalry between the children. They will grow up less selfish, get used to sharing everything and taking care of each other. It will be easier for them to share one room.

The cash costs for things for the second child will be minimal, because after the eldest they will not have time to go out of fashion. The same age can be sent to school at the same time. They can study in the same class, grow and mature together. During adolescence, it will be easier for the two of them to cope with emerging age-related problems. They will trust each other with their secrets.

Video materials on the topic of the article

How to organize a weather-beaten walk:

Difficulties and how to overcome them:

The first year of life:

Raising children of the same age: the aerobatics of parental art.
Often, while lovingly admiring the little ones cooing peacefully with each other, young girls or women who are just starting family life dream that they too will one day have such a “sweet couple.” They imagine how friendly and fun their children will play with each other, how good and interesting it will be for the two of them. But in practice, everything turns out to be far from so rosy. The birth of a child of the same age is a difficult test for a family.

Firstly, a second pregnancy in a row is a huge burden on the mother’s body, which has not had time to fully recover after the first birth. Ideally, at least one and a half, or better yet, two years should pass between childbirth and the next pregnancy. Secondly, if the mother is pregnant, the baby may refuse to breastfeed, and in many cases, for example, if there is a threat of miscarriage, breastfeeding is not recommended at all. And think about how difficult it is to simultaneously feed one child and bear a second one. This means that either the first-born will lose his invaluable mother’s milk, or the one who is yet to be born will not receive enough essential nutrients from his mother. Exhausted by sleepless nights and caring for a baby, a woman has no time to take care of herself, how to properly prepare for the upcoming birth, and attending pregnancy courses or a swimming pool becomes an unaffordable luxury. By the end of the second pregnancy, the first-born becomes quite heavy, and the mother has to lift and carry the plump baby in her arms many times a day. And this, you see, is also by no means the best activity for a pregnant woman. Among other things, right at the time of birth, your little nimble will begin to actively explore the space, run around the apartment, stick its nose where it shouldn’t, climb onto chairs and tables... How can a mother, who is waiting for the arrival of a new baby any day now, keep up with him!

In addition, the second year is very important for the physical and intellectual development of the baby: it is now that the baby begins to actively master speech, the basic concepts of space and time are formed, physical skills are improved, fine motor skills and coordination of movements are developed. How useful educational games would be now: logic games, word games, and finger games! And how difficult it is for a mother to combine all this with the upcoming birth of a baby.

In connection with the birth of children of the same age, a number of serious psychological problems arise. It’s rare that anyone specifically plans to have children with such a small interval. Most often, a second baby appears because parents believe a very widespread misconception that you cannot get pregnant while breastfeeding and until your menstrual cycle has returned. Both of these are not entirely true. Relative protection against pregnancy is provided by feeding “on demand” without a strict schedule, at least 15-20 times a day, including at night. Moreover, this protection only works until you start introducing complementary foods and reduce the number of feedings. It’s really impossible to get pregnant until your cycle has returned, but no one knows when the first egg will begin to mature, three or seven months after giving birth. Having become pregnant during the first ovulation, a woman often does not even notice it and learns about the upcoming birth of a baby only when her belly begins to grow.

So, the second of the same age is rarely a desired child. And often parents wait for his appearance not so much with joy as with anxiety: what problems and concerns will this “kinder surprise” bring with it? But it has long been known that the baby in the mother’s tummy feels perfectly whether he is desired or not, whether his father and mother are waiting for him. Unwanted children are more likely to be born prematurely and have more birth defects. They are more anxious, sleep worse and suffer more often from colic than those whom the whole family was looking forward to. Such a child may be more timid, unconfident, or, conversely, will use every means available to him to prove his worth and usefulness to himself and others.

It’s not easy for such a tiny “elder.” While a two- to three-year-old can at least somehow be told about the upcoming changes in the family, a one-year-old baby is still absolutely unable to figure out what happened, where the incomprehensible creature came from, taking its rightful place at the mother’s breast and, as it seems to him, in the mother’s heart. The one-year-old still does not know how to express his all-consuming grief in words, and expresses it as best he can: with whims, night fears, “regressive behavior” (the baby seems to forget long-learned skills, stops eating on his own, asking to go to the potty, in especially severe cases he may return from walking to crawling). Seeing how much attention the mother pays to the new baby, he seems to subconsciously strive to become small again, as if believing that then he will legally receive everything that the lucky newborn receives. Irreconcilable rivalry often arises between children of the same age, and it is very difficult to cope with it, because it is rooted in the deep layers of the subconscious, outside the sphere of the child’s conscious memories.

But all this, perhaps, will prevent someone from being born the same way. But what about those who already have children with a small age difference or those who are waiting for the arrival of their second baby? First of all, don't be upset. Although the birth of the same age is associated with certain problems, your situation also has its advantages. The second birth in a row, as a rule, is very easy, because the body still “remembers” well what it needs to do. There are usually no problems with breastfeeding. You yourself have not yet forgotten the skills of caring for a newborn. In addition, you are unlikely to have forgotten your own mistakes, which means you have an excellent chance to correct them and not repeat them. Your firstborn's dowry, most likely, has not yet had time to spread among your friends and lies safe and sound, and you will not have to buy and prepare everything again. If you raise your children correctly, they will be able to become true friends, because the tiny age difference will become completely unnoticeable over time. Often, for convenience, parents send children of the same age to the same kindergarten group and even to the same class. In this case, your children will never feel lonely, and it is always easier to stand up for themselves together.

In order not to go crazy with two tiny babies, who also, unlike, say, twins, have completely different needs, you must first of all organize your day wisely. Only the iron regime can save you. Even if you raised your first child on a flexible schedule, try to set up a schedule before the birth of your second baby: if you know with half an hour accuracy when your children eat, bathe, and go to bed, it will be much easier for you.

Your salvation is household appliances. If you can’t afford it yourself, invite your family and friends who want to give a gift for the birth of a child, instead of buying yet another adorable booties or a delightful set of rattles, to join in as much as possible on a large purchase: a washing machine or food processor. Don’t be shy about such requests: household appliances are not a luxury for you, but a way to survive.

Another necessary purchase is a stroller for the weather. If you can’t buy a new one, look in thrift stores or through advertisements, where it may turn out to be several times cheaper than a new one, but don’t skimp on quality, because your mobility depends on it.

If your Elder baby has just begun to explore the space at the time of the birth of the Younger, try to clear the house of unnecessary and dangerous objects. Take away or give away excess furniture to relatives, fix wobbly tables and chairs or get rid of them. Go through your closets and throw away or donate items you haven't used in the last two years and don't plan to use in the next year. In the free space, remove what is cluttering the apartment. Place everything that is piercing, cutting, poisonous, or breakable in the upper cabinets. And it’s best to hang them right up to the ceiling. Be sure to check the quality of the electrical wiring and the strength of the window locks. It is advisable to purchase plugs for sockets and a blocker for the gas stove and VCR. Well, now your firstborn can safely explore the apartment while you feed and swaddle his brother or sister.

Nothing exhausts parents more than childhood illnesses. And if there are several children, the problem gets worse. Therefore, devote the months preceding the birth of your second child to intensively hardening your firstborn. First of all, allow him to run around the house barefoot, and gradually switch to lighter clothes. Ideally, a child should wear only panties at home. Start dousing yourself with cold water together, this will benefit both of you. When the little one is born, begin to harden him from the very first days. There is an absolutely safe and 100% effective way to harden newborns. As soon as you are left alone with the baby, at home or in the maternity hospital ward, undress him, put him naked in a diaper and start breastfeeding. Sucking is hard physical work for a baby, so he cannot freeze, even if the room is cool, and besides, the mother additionally warms the baby with her body. Gradually, the periods of wakefulness will lengthen, and with them the air baths. Don’t be alarmed if the baby’s body becomes cool and covered with blue veins, this does not mean that he is frozen, it’s just that the circulatory system of newborns has not yet fully formed. But if the baby has become lethargic, whines, hiccups, it’s time to get dressed. When a baby eats naked, he sucks more actively and does not fall asleep at the breast before he is full, which often happens with newborns. During the “air procedure”, all the folds on the legs and butt will be ventilated, and prickly heat will heal. While the baby is nursing, he will probably do all his diaper work, which means he will sleep dry and clean, and you will save a diaper or diaper. Experienced mothers know how to catch the right moment and provide the baby with a basin in time. Learning this art is not so difficult, and the time for washing and the consumption of diapers will be reduced many times.

If someone is ready to offer you help, do not refuse under any circumstances, but think about how to use additional labor more efficiently. For example, if a mother or neighbor is eager to iron the baby's diapers, and you consider this a waste of time, it is better to invite her to take a walk with the children, while you get a good night's sleep. By the way, very often parents with the best intentions invite a nanny to stay with the eldest after the birth of the baby or send him to live with his grandmother. Under no circumstances should you do this. Your firstborn is now frightened by the appearance of an incomprehensible new creature. He is not sure whether his parents still love him, and by transferring the baby into the wrong hands, you will only strengthen his suspicions that the mother got herself a new baby, and decided to get rid of him. If it is possible to hire a nanny, suggest that it would be better for her to walk with the newborn, transfer some household chores to her, and devote the free time entirely to the firstborn. Then the baby will feel that he is still loved, and even though changes have occurred in life, with his mother’s help you can try to adapt to them.

A child experiences the most painful attacks of jealousy when his mother breastfeeds his little brother or sister. To prevent this from happening, do not drive your elder away from you at these moments. On the contrary, try to use this time for intensive communication with your firstborn. Set up a cozy corner for three on a wide bed or directly on the floor, on a soft carpet. While feeding the younger one, you can simultaneously read a book to the older one or play finger games with him. You can get special, especially attractive toys that will only be available during feeding times. You can simply hold your baby close to you so that he feels your closeness as keenly as a newborn. Sometimes older children express a desire to try their mother's milk. Don't be embarrassed and don't deny him this. Most likely, the baby will simply frown and come to the conclusion that his food is much tastier. Well, if sometimes he settles in to suckle with the baby, it will only do him good. After all, many children aged one and a half to two years still rightfully suck their mother’s boobs. Some babies are ready to settle for a compromise: hold their mother’s breast while the little one suckles on the other. At the same time, you can solve the problem with daytime sleep. Having warmed up next to you, the fidget will most likely take a nap with the baby.

If you haven't had time to potty train your firstborn, feed yourself, and sleep in a separate bed before your newborn arrives, you'll have to put it off for at least a few months. The baby is now absolutely not inclined to become an adult, and by forcing events, we can provoke an attack of jealousy. In general, you should refrain from phrases like “You are already an adult”, “The elder must give in”, etc. On the contrary, show the baby that you understand that he is still very small, that you do not need him to grow up quickly and become independent of you. If your firstborn asks for a diaper, which he has been able to do without for a long time, a bottle or a pacifier, do not refuse, but fulfill his request with a laugh. To emphasize that this whole situation is obviously humorous and playful in nature, offer to put a diaper on a bear or doll and feed them from a bottle. You can even jokingly swaddle your baby or put him in a kangaroo. Seeing that there is nothing particularly interesting in the forbidden fruit, your firstborn will go in search of new, more exciting adventures.

Even if you have managed to minimize attacks of jealousy, and your children are ready to share parental love, try to spend a little time alone with each of your children at least once a week. For example, on Saturday, send dad to go for a walk with the youngest, and instead of devoting the resulting leisure time to economic exploits, do something interesting with your first-born, and on Sunday, on the contrary, let the eldest enjoy his father’s company, while you have plenty of fun with the little one... Any child absolutely needs such close attention when he feels that dad or mom belongs entirely to him. But under no circumstances should these precious minutes be used for moralizing, potty training, solving math problems, etc. Do something that brings you both joy.

Often, parents do not think that their children are two different personalities, each of which has its own preferences, tastes, and affections. Don't insist that children, even of the same sex, play the same games together over and over again. Even in the cramped apartment, try to allocate at least a tiny corner for each child, which he can arrange to his liking (well, at least a “house” under the desk or a “nest” on the top tier of the bed). It’s good if, in addition to common things and toys, each of the children also has their own. They can be shared and exchanged, but you cannot take them, spoil them, or scatter them without asking.

If you have children of different sexes, be sure to emphasize the differences between them, teach your daughter to dress and comb her hair tastefully, and teach the boy to be brave, courageous, and protect his sister. Make sure they each have toys that match their gender. On the other hand, you should not draw a rigid line between “male” and “female” activities, as often happens in conservative, patriarchal families. The boy is quite capable of carrying out household chores along with his sister. And many girls are in no way inferior to their brothers in the ability to use carpentry and plumbing tools; just like boys, they ride rollerblades or bicycles, play football and hockey. It often happens that a militant, mischievous girl grows up with a quiet brother who prefers solitary fussing with toys to the noisy amusements of his sister. And this is also normal, the only important thing is that there is no bias, and that children are clearly aware of their gender identity.

Each of the children can develop their own special relationships with relatives, close and distant: perhaps a grandfather, who has dreamed of a son all his life, will fall in love with his grandson, and a young unmarried aunt will easily find a common language with her lovely little niece. Do not insist that relatives treat both children equally and do not demand this from the children themselves. The more independent relationships your age has with relatives, the better: this will help each of the kids realize that they are a valuable person, independent of their brother or sister. Just make sure that the attention of grandmothers and aunts is divided evenly between your children, and one does not feel like everyone’s favorite, and the other - an outcast. Both are harmful.

Many parents don't know how to find time to spend with each child. If the age difference is less than one and a half years, nothing is simpler: study with both at the same time. Let part of the lesson be more “advanced”, designed for older people. The younger one will follow him and not only will not lag behind, but, trying to prove his worth, he may even overtake the first-born. Some time, of course, needs to be devoted to the crumb itself. But don’t drive away the elder here either. After all, what will be “new material” for the little one will become an excellent “repetition of what has been learned” for the first-born. When the children get a little older, it will be possible to entrust the first-born with feasible activities with the baby: show pictures, play lotto, tell a fairy tale. For those who are prone to constant competition, it is very useful to give tasks for cooperation, where success depends on how well the participants can get along with each other and act together. But it is better to refuse any competitions: they can cause conflict. Even in those games where, by definition, someone must become a winner (lotto, memory, games with chips and dice), try to focus not on the victory itself, but on the result that needs to be achieved together: close all the cards in lotto , place all the dominoes on the field, find all the paired memory cards. Offer to help the one who completed the task first to help the one lagging behind.

And yet, when practicing together, you should take into account the temperamental characteristics and interests of each of the children... If your eldest daughter has absolute pitch, it is not at all a good idea to drag her younger brother, who has no interest in this, with her “to music”, and besides, constantly reproach him for his sister’s successes. And even if the first-born adored logic games and mathematical problems from the cradle, his younger sister may turn out to be a complete humanist, and it is absolutely useless to expect from her the same interest in the Nikitins’ games or Zaitsev’s Hundred Counting. No matter how difficult it may be to take children to classes in different places, try to find each of them at least one club or studio in which he can express himself. Then, instead of envying someone who can sing or draw better, children will learn to treat each other's talents and achievements with pride and respect.

So, have you become parents of similar children? Don't be upset and don't be afraid of difficulties. Soon life will get better and go back to normal, Big Tiny and Little Tiny will grow up. And if you manage to instill love for each other in their hearts, if you can save their souls from jealousy, they will become the best, most bosom friends, and all you can do is laugh at their funny games... Well, sometimes get a little angry for their pranks and tricks.
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