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3. Conditions for successful parenting

The conditions for successful upbringing can be defined as experimentally identified causes that influence the functioning of the system and relate to its environment.

G. Neuner writes: “The educational process... is influenced by certain spatial, temporal and social conditions, which are external conditions that influence the course of its course. These include social conditions, the corresponding current political and economic situation, social environment, territorial environment, material and organizational conditions, as well as broader (in relation to the educational process) social relations that affect the educational relationship between the educator and the educated.”

E. Drefenstedt lists social, territorial, intra-school, material and technical, local, temporary conditions; in addition, he especially highlights “the conditions arising from the state, trends and problems of the development of the children's team, individual pupils...”.

At the congress of teachers of Karelia, held in 2003, the following conditions for successful education were put forward:

Systematicity;

Creation of an educational system of a humanistic type;

Interaction with the environment;

Dialogue methods of education, a situation of trust.

Development processes are stimulated by emotional stability, the joy of being, a guarantee of safety, respect for the rights of the child not in words, but in deeds, the priority of an optimistic view of the child. The positive role of an adult is the role of an assistant-facilitator - helping the child in the process of his development. According to some data, in Russia there are about 10% of them.

It is especially worth mentioning the conditions of upbringing in the family.

The main conditions for success in raising children in a family can be considered the presence of a normal family atmosphere, the authority of parents, a proper daily routine, and timely introduction of the child to books, reading, and work.

A normal family atmosphere is:

Parents' awareness of their duty and sense of responsibility for raising children, based on mutual respect between father and mother, constant attention to educational, work and social life, help and support in large and small matters, respect for the dignity of each family member, constant mutual expression tact;

Organization of family life and everyday life, which is based on the equality of all members, involving children in solving economic issues of family life, managing the household, and doing feasible work;

In the reasonable organization of recreation: in participation in sports and tourist trips, in joint walks, reading, listening to music, visiting the theater and cinema;

Mutual strictness of principle, a friendly tone in address, sincerity, love and cheerfulness in the family.

An important condition for the successful upbringing of children is the unity of requirements for children by all family members, as well as the same requirements for children from family and school. The lack of unity of requirements between school and family undermines the authority of the teacher and parents and leads to a loss of respect for them.

In the early years of a child’s life, a family is needed for the formation of certain areas of human consciousness, human psychology, and its absence entails sad and far-reaching consequences, such as, for example, delinquency. The time that children spend at home, after nursery, kindergarten, school is enough for the family to play its intended role.

And whatever the social upbringing, where the ultimate goal is the formation of ideals, the formation of the child’s personality is laid in the family, under the influence of parental love for the sake of his future, under the influence of the authority of parents, family traditions.

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Happy and successful. But how to do that? How to raise a child who can realize himself in adulthood?

Well-being, determination, self-confidence are the main signs of a successful person. Why can some people realize themselves, while others cannot? What is the reason?

It's all about upbringing and shaping a certain worldview of the growing individual. There is a very wise saying that the greatest success in life is successful children.

The article will discuss how to raise such a child so that he can realize himself and become happy.

Problems related to parenting

Parents are the main teachers who lay down the main principles of life and the foundations of a worldview, which the child then projects into adulthood. The main thing is not to follow the opinion of society, which is not interested in self-sufficient and self-confident individuals, but to listen to your child and his needs.

You should always remember one simple rule: a successful child is a person with normal self-esteem, happy, without complexes and fears that arise in childhood under the influence of moms and dads. Parents love obedient and calm children who do not take initiative and do not defend their opinions. It is very convenient when the child completely obeys the will of the parents. But this is for the time being.

Psychologists believe that problems and mistakes in upbringing not only negatively affect the child’s psychological health, but also provoke the development of physical diseases. To prevent this, the consciousness of parents who raise their children according to the principle “it will be as I said” should be changed.

Parents carry over echoes from their childhood into the upbringing process, that is, if the father grew up in the family of a despot, then there is a high probability that he will behave the same way with his son.

Of course, there can be no talk of any success if a child grows up in an environment with an excess of aggression, if he is complex and lacks self-confidence.

Parents need to pay attention to a number of problems that exist in modern society and are an obstacle to the development of success and usefulness in children:

• Computer technologies have a negative impact on education. It’s easier for parents to distract their kids with newfangled phones and tablets than to read a book to them at night. The consequence of this is a lack of attention in childhood, which negatively affects the baby’s psyche.
• Compensating for a lack of attention and care by purchasing toys will lead to a depreciation of material things and increased demands.
• Intrusive help from parents. As a result, the child becomes uninitiative, unadapted to life, and subsequently a helpless adult.
• Imposing their views is usually characteristic of those parents who themselves have not succeeded in life and now show their abilities and pass on experience to the little person.
• Unwillingness to accept responsibility for the child - as a result, the child does not receive enough love and suffers due to the insolvency and irresponsibility of the mother or father.

The child must know and feel that he is loved

A successful adult always has correct self-esteem. Parents need to show their child that they love him simply for who he is, and that he is who he is. The child needs to speak words of love as often as possible, hug him, and respect all his aspirations. If it’s time for him to go to bed and he’s playing, you shouldn’t yell at him and send him to bed in an orderly tone; it’s better to help him finish the game, and then go to bed with him. You cannot criticize the baby, you only need to criticize your actions.

The child should have the right to choose

The successful development of a child is only possible if he is given the right to simple and banal choices. For example, what he will wear for a walk or what toy he will take with him on a trip. The child will see that his opinion is taken into account and listened to. You need to discuss films, cartoons, situations, books with him and always ask what he thinks about this or that matter.

The child needs to be taught to negotiate

The ability to negotiate is a very useful quality when it comes to raising a successful child. It is necessary to teach him to express his thoughts on any issue. He should be taught the ability to make compromises and find solutions that would suit everyone. It is the ability to negotiate and find solutions in difficult situations that will help a child adapt to society.

You need to help your child find something he loves

Each person has his own abilities and talents. It is necessary to observe the child in order to identify the activity that arouses the greatest interest in him, and try to develop him in this direction. The sooner development begins, the better for talent. In the future, he may not engage in this business, but the experience that he accumulates during his studies will always be useful to him in life.

Encouraging curiosity

All children are born geniuses, and the task of parents is to help the child realize himself. If he is interested in some activity, you need to support this interest. You should look for literature, educational games or films, and enroll in a club, section or class. For the successful development of a child, you cannot decide for him what he needs to do and what he can do without. Any interest should be encouraged. Firstly, it broadens your horizons. Secondly, perhaps this hobby could become his life’s work.

Creative development

From early childhood, it is necessary to teach your child creativity, draw with him, compose songs, dance, play music. Creative abilities will be of great use to him in the future in solving problems and the most complex tasks.

Developing a sense of responsibility

The child must feel responsible for what he has done. But you can’t scold him, you need to try to find the best way out of the situation. It is important to show by example that you need to keep your word, and be able to answer for wrong actions.

His desire to keep his word and perform the actions expected of him within a certain time frame should be encouraged.

A child who has been taught responsibility since childhood has a greater chance of achieving success than a child who does not know how to be responsible for his words and actions.

Love of reading

A child needs to be instilled with a love of reading, preferably from a very early age. People who read are more successful and self-confident than those who spend all their free time watching TV or computers. First you need to read aloud, then select interesting literature for him in accordance with his age.

Development of eloquence

If a child tries to tell something, you cannot brush him off. On the contrary, you should enter into a dialogue with him, give him the opportunity to express his thoughts, ask questions that he can answer.

If it’s difficult for him, you need to help him with a hint, but you can’t speak for him, let him try to explain, describe, ask a question, answer a question on his own.

The child's desire to make friends with peers and other children should be encouraged. A successful child is a sociable child. You cannot limit a child’s communication; in addition, it is better not to interfere in children’s relationships unless necessary. He must learn to get out of situations on his own, this will be very useful to him in the future.

Developing persistence and determination

The child needs to be taught to set goals and achieve them, shown how to draw up a plan to achieve the goals and how to adjust it if necessary. You can help him cope with the difficulties that have arisen, but you cannot perform the action for him. This is a “disservice” that will lead to the child constantly waiting for outside help instead of getting together and solving the problem.

You need to praise correctly

An important part of the parenting process is praise. You need to do it right. The child should be praised for his desire to complete his task well, for his desire to develop, learn, for his perseverance, patience, and search for non-standard solutions.

It is important to use praise in doses. If he gets used to it, then its meaning will lose importance for him.

You cannot praise undeservedly, it corrupts. The child stops trying because there is no point in it, because they will still praise him.

Optimism

A successful person is an optimist in life. In any situation, even the worst, you should see something good; this is important for a successful and happy person. From an early age, the child needs to be explained that victories can be replaced by defeats, and this is normal, such is life. Parents themselves should be optimistic and show by example how to approach problems.

It is necessary to teach the child to correctly perceive failures, that is, not to make a tragedy out of it, to be able to analyze the reasons and make the right decisions to correct the current situation.

It is important that the child does not project failure onto his personality. That is, if he did not take a place in the competition, this does not indicate that he is a loser, but means that he was simply poorly prepared. You need to tell him that he will succeed next time, he just needs to put in more effort.

Independence

From the age of two, the child strives to demonstrate independence. This is very good. You need to give him the opportunity to do something without outside help and not rush him.

This desire should be encouraged in him, he should be interested in his opinion, and be sure to praise him for trying to do something himself. There is no need to immediately correct what the baby did wrong; it is better to help him finish it the way it should be.

How to raise a successful person

By instilling in a child such qualities as humanity, determination, and independence, parents form a successful, self-confident personality. In addition, you should always remember that children imitate adults, so you need to educate yourself.

If mom always keeps her promise, and dad always supports him in difficult situations, then in the future the child will behave the same way.

What should you pay special attention to and what should you avoid in order for raising a successful child to give a positive result?

• Parents need to learn to perceive the child as a separate person, who is characterized by his own view of things, his own opinion, and self-esteem.
• You need to learn to maintain a moral distance, not to impose your opinions and tastes, especially if the child does not like it. Even a 2-year-old child can say exactly which toys he likes and which he doesn’t.
• Parents should support the initiative; these are the first steps in fostering independence in a child. Successful socialization will be faster and more painless if the child is more independent and self-confident. Let him eat very slowly or tie his shoelaces for half an hour, but these are important stages in the development of independence and willpower.

• It is necessary to encourage any manifestations of activity where he tries to do something on his own. It is especially important to express support in the first years of a baby’s life; it is during this period that the behavior of adults determines his character.
• You need to help your child set goals and develop an action plan with him.
• From the age of 6-7, it is necessary to begin to cultivate hard work and willpower; he is already able to control his emotions. It is imperative to teach your child to play sports. Physical activity develops self-discipline and self-control.
• Show by your own example how to achieve your goals. The main thing is to be consistent, always keep your promises, work hard and enjoy the results of your work.

Which parents have successful children?

All parents want their children to stay as far away from trouble as possible. Every father and mother wants their child to be successful in school, so that he is not offended by his peers, so that he can achieve his goal. Unfortunately, there is no special guide to raising a successful and happy child. But psychologists say that such children most often grow up with successful parents.

So, what kind of parent do you need to become in order to raise a successful person:

• It is necessary to teach your children socialization skills: communicating with their peers, understanding their mood, feelings, helping others and solving their problems independently. In the scientific literature, psychologists advise parents to instill in their children the skills to successfully adapt to any team.
• You need to expect a lot from your child and believe in him. For example, those mothers and fathers who expect their child to receive a higher education, as a rule, achieve their goal. They always lead him to this, and at a certain stage the child himself begins to want this.
• Successful children grow up in families where mothers work. Such children learn independence early, so they are better adapted to life than those kids whose mothers sit at home and do household chores.
• As a rule, successful and happy children grow up in families where parents have higher education.
• It is necessary to teach mathematics to children from an early age, and the earlier the better.
• It is important to establish good and warm relationships with children.
• It is necessary to value effort, not fear of failure, to be optimistic in life.

Finally

The modern world is fleeting and changeable, children grow up very quickly. The main task of parents is to guide their child in the right direction and, along the way, instill in him fortitude, hard work, dedication, determination, optimism, self-confidence and self-confidence.

And the main thing that moms and dads should remember: a successful child is a happy and loved child. You need to love the baby, even the most naughty and spoiled one, believe in him, help him, and then he will succeed.

The role of the family in shaping the child’s personality. Conditions for successful family education

Introduction

1.2 Types of family (complete - single-parent, prosperous - dysfunctional)

Conclusion

Literature

Introduction

From the moment the child was born and began to settle in the world, he began to learn. While learning, the child is constantly being educated. The process of education is aimed at the formation of social qualities of the individual, at creating and expanding the range of his relationships with the surrounding world - with society, with people, with himself. The wider, more diverse and deeper a person’s system of relationships to various aspects of life, the richer his own spiritual world.

Thus, the personality is formed in the process of active interaction with the outside world, mastering social experience and public values. Based on a person’s reflection of objective relationships, the formation of internal positions of the personality, individual characteristics of the mental makeup takes place, character, intelligence, and his attitude towards others and towards himself are formed. Being in a system of collective and interpersonal relationships, in the process of joint activities, the child asserts himself as an individual among other people.

No one is born with a ready-made character, interests, inclinations, will, or certain abilities. All these properties are developed and formed gradually, throughout life, from birth to adulthood.

The family plays a special role in a person’s life, his protection, formation and satisfaction of spiritual needs, as well as in his primary socialization. The child’s personality is formed under the influence of all social relations in which his life and activities take place. However, the level of moral culture of parents, their life plans and aspirations, social connections, and family traditions are of decisive importance in the development of a young person’s personality.

In the family, a child acquires beliefs and socially approved forms of behavior necessary for a normal life in society. It is in the family that the child’s individuality and his inner world are most manifested. Parental love helps to reveal and enrich the emotional, spiritual and intellectual spheres of children's lives.

Chapter 1. The role of the family in shaping the child’s personality

1.1 The concept of family, family as a microsociety

Among the various social factors influencing the development of personality, one of the most important is the family. Traditionally, the family is the main institution of education. What a person acquires in the family, he retains throughout his subsequent life. The importance of family is due to the fact that a person lives in it for a significant part of his life. The foundations of personality are laid in the family.

A family is a social and pedagogical group of people designed to optimally satisfy the needs for self-preservation (procreation) and self-affirmation (self-esteem) of each of its members.

The family creates in a person the concept of home not as a room where he lives, but as feelings, a feeling of a place where he is expected, loved, appreciated, understood and protected. The family plays the main role in the formation of moral principles and life principles of the child. The family creates personality or destroys it; it has the power of the family to strengthen or undermine the mental health of its members. The family encourages some personal drives while preventing others, satisfies or suppresses personal needs. The family structures opportunities for achieving security, pleasure and self-realization. It indicates the boundaries of identification and contributes to the emergence of an individual’s image of his “I”.

In the process of close relationships with mother, father, brothers, sisters, grandfathers, grandmothers and other relatives, a personality structure begins to form in the child from the first days of life.

In the family, the personality of not only the child, but also his parents is formed.

A family is an entity that “encompasses” a person as a whole in all its manifestations.

The determining role of the family is due to its profound influence on the entire complex of physical and spiritual life of the person growing in it. For a child, the family is both a living environment and an educational environment. The influence of the family, especially in the initial stage of a child’s life, far exceeds other educational processes. According to research, the family here reflects the school, the media, public organizations, work groups, friends, and the influence of literature and art. All this allowed teachers to deduce a certain dependence: the success of personality formation is determined primarily by the family. The better the family and the better its influence on education, the higher the result of the physical, moral, and labor education of the individual. Rarely, the role of the family in the formation of personality is determined by dependence: which family, such a person will grow up in it.

This dependence is used in practice. An experienced teacher only needs to look and talk to the child to understand what kind of family he is being raised in.

In the same way, it will not be difficult to communicate with parents and determine what kind of children will grow up in their family. Family and child are a mirror image of each other.

If the family has such a strong influence on the processes and results of personality development, then it is the family that society and the state should give paramount importance to in organizing the correct educational influence. Strong, healthy, spiritual families are a powerful state. Parents - the first educators - have the strongest influence on children. Also J.-J. Rousseau argued that each subsequent educator has less influence on the child than the previous one. Parents are prior to everyone else; kindergarten teacher, primary school teacher and subject teachers. They are given an advantage by nature in raising children. Providing family education, its content and organizational aspects are an eternal and very responsible task for humanity.

Deep contacts with parents create a stable state of life in children, a feeling of confidence and reliability. And it brings a joyful feeling of satisfaction to parents. In healthy families, parents and children are connected through natural, everyday contact. This is such close communication between them, as a result of which spiritual unity arises, coordination of basic life aspirations and actions. The natural basis of such relationships is made up of family ties, feelings of motherhood and fatherhood, which are manifested in parental love and caring affection of children and parents.

The child sees the family as the close people around him: father and mother, grandparents, brothers and sisters. Depending on the composition of the family, on the relationships in the family with family members and in general with the people around them, a person looks at the world positively or negatively, forms his views, builds his relationships with others. Family relationships also influence how a person will build his career in the future and what path he will take. It is in the family that an individual receives his first life experience, therefore it is very important in which family the child is raised: prosperous or dysfunctional, complete or incomplete.

1.2 Types of family (complete - incomplete, prosperous - dysfunctional)

A.S. Makarenko attached particular importance to family structure. He introduced the concept of “complete” and “incomplete family”, meaning by this a family that does not have a father or mother. The upbringing and successful socialization of the child depend on the structure of the family. Stepfamilies with a stepfather or stepmother are usually included in two-parent families. These families are considered complete because each of them has a husband, wife and child (children), and the stepfather is obliged to take care of his wife’s children as if they were his own, and the children must obey him like a father.

A family of a single mother or father with children is usually considered incomplete.

A single woman-mother often develops a purely negative set of feelings towards men, towards marriage and family life, and, consequently, children may develop deformed and distorted ideas about marriage and family. A decrease in the educational capabilities of a single-parent family occurs as a result of a combination of a number of unfavorable circumstances, such as the long-term influence of conflict situations on children, a tense psychological situation due to the incorrect attitude of family members to the characteristics of the life of a single-parent family, the inability to choose a pedagogically appropriate style of education, the emergence of situations of emotional “ hunger” or excessive, sacrificial parental love, as well as often the immoral behavior of the parent, his low cultural, educational and professional levels, material and everyday difficulties, and weak connections with school.

Families in which children live with a grandfather or grandmother, but without a father and mother, can also be considered incomplete, since their parents divorced, and the mother then either died or was deprived of parental rights for drunkenness and abuse of children, after which the elderly took the children for education. Or the mother found herself a new husband or partner who did not want to take care of the child, and she herself gave the child to her parents.

In these cases, even if the older grandparent generation is represented by a married couple, the family is certainly incomplete, since there is no middle, that is, parental generation in it at all. From a psychological and pedagogical point of view, grandparents who perform parental functions are unlikely to replace parents, since their role in the family is fundamentally different. Likewise, families in which children live with uncles, aunts, older brothers and sisters, or other relatives are incomplete.

In our society, the family crisis is becoming more and more noticeable. The crisis is expressed in the fact that the family is increasingly fulfilling its main function - raising children. The reasons for this crisis are only partly related to the deterioration of the economic situation; they are of a more general nature. A frivolous attitude towards marriage and family, forgetfulness of traditions, moral principles, cynicism, drunkenness, lack of self-discipline and sexual promiscuity, a high percentage of divorces have the most detrimental effect on the upbringing of children.

Dysfunctional families. A dysfunctional family is a family in which the structure is disrupted, basic family functions are devalued or ignored, and there are obvious or hidden defects in upbringing, resulting in the appearance of “difficult children.”

One of the most powerful unfavorable factors that destroys not only the family, but also the peace of mind of the child is parental drunkenness.

1.3 What is the role of the family in the socialization of the child’s personality?

Socialization is “the process of an individual’s entry into the social environment”, “his assimilation of social influences”, “his introduction to the system of social connections” (Andreeva G.M., 1980, p. 335).

A person has a rather long childhood: a lot of time passes before a small child turns into an adult, independent member of society. And all this time he is in dire need of a parental family, which is the most important and influential factor in socialization. A long period of helplessness of a child, stretching over years, forces parents to pay considerable attention to both caring for children (a traditionally female role) and protecting them (a traditionally male one). The family is the first and main social group that actively influences the formation of the child’s personality. In a family, natural-biological and social connections of parents and children are intertwined. These connections are very important, because they determine the mental characteristics and primary socialization of children at the earliest stage of their development. Being one of the important factors of social influence, a specific social microenvironment, the family has an overall influence on the physical, mental and social development of the child. The role of the family is to gradually introduce the child into society so that his development is consistent with human nature and the culture of the country where he was born.

Teaching a child the social experience that humanity has accumulated, the culture of the country where he was born and growing up, its moral standards, and the traditions of the people is the direct function of parents. It is impossible to divide the functions of the family into main and secondary ones, all family functions are the main thing, however, the need to distinguish among them those special ones that make it possible to distinguish the family from other institutions has led to the identification of specific and non-specific functions of the family.

The specific functions of the family, which include birth (reproductive function), raising children (existential function) and raising children (socialization function), remain with all changes in society, although the nature of the connection between family and society may change over the course of history.

Non-specific functions of the family related to the accumulation and transfer of property, status, organization of production and consumption, household, recreation and leisure, related to caring for the health and well-being of family members, with the creation of a microclimate that helps relieve stress and self-preservation of everyone’s self, etc. - all these functions reflect the historical nature of the connection between family and society, revealing a historically emerging picture of exactly how the birth, maintenance and upbringing of children in the family occurs.

An important role in the process of primary socialization is played by raising a child in the family. Parents were and remain the child's first educators.

Raising children in a family is a complex social and pedagogical process. It includes the influence of the entire atmosphere and microclimate of the family on the formation of the child’s personality. The possibility of educational interaction on him is already inherent in the very nature of the relationship of parents to children, the essence of which lies in reasonable guardianship, the conscious care of elders for the younger. Father and mother show care, attention, affection to their child, protect them from life’s adversities and difficulties. The personal example of parents is the most important means of influencing the upbringing of children. Its educational significance is based on the inherent tendency to imitate in childhood. Without sufficient knowledge and experience, the child copies adults and imitates their actions. The nature of the parents' relationship, the degree of their mutual agreement, attention, sensitivity and respect, ways of solving various problems, the tone and nature of conversations - all this is perceived by the child and becomes a model for his own behavior.

Thus, the surrounding social microenvironment, the psychological climate in the family, the conditions of upbringing, relationships with parents and the personality of the parents themselves are necessarily reflected on the child and, first of all, on the characteristics of his character. If the family atmosphere is unfavorable for the child’s mental development, then it is likely that the formed personality traits will also be pathological. Along with the fact that the personality of parents undoubtedly plays a leading role in shaping the worldview and moral beliefs of children, we should not forget that parents themselves often lose sight of the fact that the atmosphere that has developed in the family can have a significant impact on personal development children raised there.

1.4 The main tasks of the family (creating conditions for the growth of the child, best practices for creating and maintaining a family, teaching the necessary skills and abilities, ensuring the protection of the child, instilling in the child a value-based attitude towards himself and other people)

Family education is a complex system. It is influenced by heredity and natural health of children and parents, material and economic security, social status, lifestyle, number of family members, place of residence (place of home), attitude towards the child. All this is organically intertwined and manifests itself differently in each specific case.

What are the tasks of the family?

They are to:

Create maximum conditions for the growth and development of the child;

Ensure socio-economic and psychological protection of the child;

To convey the experience of creating and maintaining a family, raising children in it and relationships with elders;

Teach children useful applied skills and abilities aimed at self-care and helping loved ones;

To develop a sense of self-esteem, the value of one’s own “I”.

In the first year of a child’s life, the main concern of parents is to create normal conditions for physical development, ensure a diet and throughout life, and normal sanitary and hygienic conditions. During this period, the child already expresses his needs, reacts to pleasant and unpleasant impressions and expresses his desires in his own way. The task of adults is to learn to distinguish between needs and whims, since the child's needs must be met and whims suppressed. Thus, the child in the family receives his first moral lessons, without which he cannot develop a system of moral habits and concepts.

In the second year of life, the child begins to walk, strives to touch everything with his own hands, to reach the unattainable, and mobility sometimes gives him a lot of grief. Education during this period should be based on the reasonable inclusion of the child in various types of activities; he should be shown everything, explained, taught to observe, play with him, tell stories and answer questions. But, if his actions go beyond the boundaries of what is permitted, the child must be taught to understand and unquestioningly obey the word.

In preschool age, the main activity of a child is play. Children three and four years old prefer construction and household games. By constructing various buildings, the child learns about the world around him. The child takes situations for games from life. The wisdom of parents is to quietly tell the child what the hero (the main character) should do in the game. Thus, they teach him to understand what is good and what is bad, what moral qualities are valued and respected in society, and what are condemned.

Preschoolers and primary schoolchildren receive their first moral experience in the family, learn to respect their elders, take them into account, learn to do something pleasant, joyful, and kind to people.

The moral principles of a child are formed on the basis and in connection with the intensive mental development of the child, the indicator of which is his actions and speech. Therefore, it is important to enrich children’s vocabulary and, when talking with them, to provide an example of good pronunciation of sounds and words and sentences in general. In order to develop speech, parents should teach children to observe natural phenomena, identify similar and different things in them, listen to fairy tales and stories and convey their content, answer questions and ask their own.

Speech development is an indicator of an increase in the child’s general culture, a condition for his mental, moral and aesthetic development.

In preschool age, children are very mobile, they cannot concentrate on one thing for a long time, or quickly switch from one type of activity to another. Schooling will require concentration, perseverance, and diligence from the child. Therefore, it is important, even in preschool age, to accustom a child to be thorough in the tasks he carries out, to teach him to complete a task or game he has started, and to show perseverance and perseverance. It is necessary to develop these qualities in play and household work, including the child in collective work on cleaning the premises, in the garden, or playing household or outdoor games with him.

As a child grows up in a family, the tasks, means and methods of education change. The educational program includes sports, outdoor games, hardening of the body and strict implementation of morning exercises. A large place is occupied by the issues of sanitary and hygienic training of children, the development of skills and habits of personal hygiene, and a culture of behavior. The right relationships are established between boys and girls - relationships of camaraderie, mutual attention and care. The best means of cultivating correct relationships is the personal example of father and mother, their mutual respect, help and care, manifestations of tenderness and affection. If children see good relationships in the family, then, as adults, they themselves will strive for the same beautiful relationships. In childhood, it is important to cultivate a feeling of love for your loved ones - for parents, for brothers and sisters, so that children feel affection for one of their peers, affection and tenderness for younger ones.

The family plays a large role in labor education. Children are directly involved in household work, learn to serve themselves, and perform feasible labor duties to help their father and mother. Their success in learning, as well as in general labor education, depends on how the labor education of children is carried out even before school. The presence in children of such an important personality quality as hard work is a good indicator of their moral education.

Thus, we can conclude that the family is the child’s first school of communication. In a family, a child learns to respect elders, take care of the elderly and sick, and provide all possible assistance to each other. In communicating with people close to the child, in joint household work, he develops a sense of duty and mutual assistance. Children are especially sensitive to relationships with adults, do not tolerate moralizing, harshness, orders, have a hard time with the rudeness of elders, mistrust and deception, petty control and suspicion, dishonesty and insincerity of parents.

The family has favorable conditions for the aesthetic education of children. A child’s sense of beauty begins with an acquaintance with a bright and beautiful toy, a colorfully designed book, or a cozy apartment. As the child grows, the perception of beauty is enriched when visiting theaters and museums. A good means of aesthetic education is nature with its beautiful and unique colors and landscapes. When communicating with nature, the child is surprised, happy, proud of what he saw, heard the singing of birds, and at this time the education of feelings occurs. A sense of beauty and interest in beauty help to cultivate the need to cherish and create beauty. The aesthetics of everyday life has great educational power. Children not only enjoy the comfort of home, but together with their parents learn to create it. In cultivating a sense of beauty, a significant role belongs to the manner of dressing correctly and beautifully.

The success of upbringing in a family can be ensured when favorable conditions are created for the growth and all-round development of the child.

Chapter 2. Conditions for successful family education

2.1 Basic conditions for successfully raising a child in a family

The main conditions for success in raising children in a family can be considered the presence of a normal family atmosphere, the authority of parents, a proper daily routine, and timely introduction of the child to books, reading, and work.

A normal family atmosphere is the awareness by parents of their duty and sense of responsibility for raising children, based on mutual respect between father and mother, constant attention to educational, work and social life, help and support in large and small matters, with respect for the dignity of each member family, constant mutual display of tact; organization of family life and everyday life, which is based on the equality of all members, involving children in solving economic issues of family life, managing the household, and doing feasible work; in the reasonable organization of recreation in participation in sports and tourist trips, in joint walks, reading, listening to music, visiting the theater and cinema; mutual principled exactingness, a friendly tone in address, sincerity, love and cheerfulness in the family.

Family traditions, strong foundations and principles contribute to the creation of a highly moral atmosphere in the family. These include holding public and family birthday parties for adults and children. Preparing gifts by children and adults and presenting them with a special emotional upsurge creates that atmosphere of solemnity, joy and happiness that forms spiritual culture and “cements” the family as a collective.

Successful upbringing in a family will be provided that a clear daily routine for children is observed. The daily routine includes the child’s entire daily routine during the day - time for proper sleep, hardening procedures, orderly meals, all types of work and rest. The age and health status of the child are taken into account. The daily routine should have an educational value, which is only possible with the obligatory habituation to its implementation without adult reminders. Seniors must exercise control over the quality implementation of routine tasks and work assignments, evaluate them, and provide assistance in case of difficulties.

A special place in raising a child in the family should be given to reading. In preschool age, a child especially loves to listen to fairy tales that adults read to him, stories from the lives of people and animals. From books he learns about good people, about their deeds, learns about animals and plants. In the fairy tale, the strong, dexterous, fair, honest and hardworking person always wins, while the evil, unkind person is punished by people and society. Listening to a fairy tale, a child does not remain indifferent to the fate of the hero; he worries, worries, rejoices and is upset, that is, he develops feelings and gradually develops an interest in the book. When a child enters school and learns to read, it is important to consolidate interest and develop the skill of independent and systematic reading. This skill does not appear on its own; it requires coordinated and skillful work between school and family. Only this will introduce the child to reading, and he will begin to consider books as his companions in acquiring new knowledge. An emerging interest in reading will lead the child to the library or bookstore. He will have his own heroes whom he will imitate.

It is difficult to overestimate the importance of work in a person’s life. Physical labor ensures high vitality of muscles and all human organs and improves all physiological processes in the body - proper breathing, blood circulation, metabolism, growth of the whole body and individual organs. Physical labor is a means of combating fatigue, especially for people engaged in mental work. Changing types of work and a reasonable combination of them in a child’s daily routine ensures his successful mental activity and maintains working capacity.

Labor education is an integral part of the comprehensive development of the individual. By how the child treats work, what work skills he has, others will judge his value.

An important condition for the successful upbringing of children is the unity of requirements for children by all family members, as well as the same requirements for children from family and school. The lack of unity of requirements between school and family undermines the authority of the teacher and parents and leads to a loss of respect for them.

The upbringing of children begins at an age when no logical proof or presentation of social rights is possible at all, and yet without authority, an educator is impossible.

Parental example and authority are a specific form of transfer of social, including moral experience of the older generation to the younger, the most important mechanism of social inheritance. The father and mother must have this authority in the eyes of the child. We often hear the question: what to do with a child if he doesn’t listen? This very “does not obey” is a sign that the parents do not have authority in his eyes.

Those parents whose children “don’t obey” sometimes tend to think that authority is given by nature, that it is a special talent. If there is no talent, then nothing can be done, all that remains is to envy the one who has such talent. These parents are wrong. Authority can be organized in every family, and it is not even a very difficult matter.

The main basis of parental authority can only be the life and work of parents, their civil persona, their behavior. The family is a big and responsible matter; parents lead this matter and are responsible for it to society, to their own happiness and to the lives of their children. If parents do this honestly and wisely, if significant and wonderful goals are set for them, if they themselves always give themselves a full account of their actions and deeds, this means that they have parental authority and do not need to look for any other grounds and Moreover, there is no need to come up with anything artificial. At the same time, one must always remember that every human activity has its own tensions and its own dignity. Under no circumstances should parents present themselves to their children as champions in their field, as incomparable geniuses. Children should see the merits of other people, and certainly the merits of their father’s closest comrades and mother. The civic authority of parents will only reach its true heights if it is not the authority of an upstart or a braggart, but the authority of a member of the team.

The authority of knowledge necessarily leads to the authority of help. In the life of every child there are many cases when he does not know what to do, when he needs advice and help. Maybe he won’t ask you for help because he doesn’t know how to do it; you yourself must come with help.

Often this help can be provided in direct advice, sometimes in a joke, sometimes in an order, sometimes even in an order. If you know your child's life, you will see for yourself what is the best course of action. It often happens that this help needs to be provided in a special way. Sometimes you need to either take part in a children's game, or get to know the children's friends, or visit the school and talk to the teacher. If there are several children in your family, and this is the happiest case, older brothers and sisters can be involved in providing such assistance.

Parental help should not be intrusive, annoying, or tiring. In some cases, it is absolutely necessary to let the child get out of a difficulty on his own; he needs to get used to overcoming obstacles and resolving more complex issues. But you must always see how the child performs this operation; you must not allow him to become confused and despair. Sometimes it is even better for the child to see your alertness, attention and trust in his strengths.

The authority of help. In the life of every child there are many cases when he does not know what to do, when he needs advice and help. Maybe he won’t ask you for help because he doesn’t know how to do it; you yourself must come with help. Often this help can be provided in direct advice, sometimes in a joke, sometimes in an order, sometimes even in an order. If you know your child's life, you will see for yourself how to act in the best way. It often happens that this help needs to be provided in a special way. Sometimes you need to either take part in a children's game or get to know the children's friends. If there are several children in your family, and this is the happiest case, older children can be involved in such assistance. Parental help should not be intrusive, annoying, or tiring. In some cases, it is absolutely necessary to allow the child to get out of difficulties on his own; he needs to get used to overcoming obstacles. The child will feel your presence next to him, your insurance, but at the same time he will know that you are demanding something from him, that you are not going to do everything for him, to relieve him of responsibility. It is the line of responsibility that is an important line of parental authority. Well, in general, in order to know your child, you need to be able to listen and hear him.

Unfortunately, there are parents who organize such authority on false grounds.

The authority of suppression. This is the worst kind of authority, although not the most harmful. Fathers suffer the most from such authority. If the father always growls at home, is always angry, bursts into thunder at every trifle, grabs his belt at every convenient and inconvenient occasion, answers every question with rudeness, marks every child’s guilt with punishment - then this is the authority of suppression. Such paternal, and perhaps maternal, terror keeps the entire family in fear, not only children, but also other family members, for example, the mother. It is harmful not only because it intimidates children, but also because it makes the mother a zero being who can only be a servant. He does not educate anything, he only teaches children to stay away from their father, he causes children's lies and human cowardice, and at the same time he instills cruelty in the child.

The authority of swagger. This is a special type of harmful authority. Each person has his own merits. But some people believe that they are the most deserved, the most important figures, and show this importance to their children. At home, all they do is talk about their merits; they are arrogant towards other people. It happens very often that, amazed by this kind of father, children begin to behave the same way.

The authority of pedantry. In this case, parents pay more attention to their children. They are confident that children should listen to every parent’s word with trepidation, that their word is sacred. They give their orders in a cold tone, and once they are given, they immediately become law. Such parents are most afraid that their children will think that dad was mistaken, that dad is not a strong person. If such a dad said: “Tomorrow it will rain, you can’t go for a walk,” then even if the weather is good tomorrow, it is still considered that you can’t go for a walk. Dad didn’t like any movie; he generally forbade the children to go to the movies, including good movies. The life of a child, his interests, his growth pass by such a dad unnoticed; he sees nothing but his bureaucratic superiors in the family.

The authority of reasoning. In this case, parents literally eat up their child’s life with endless teachings and edifying conversations. Instead of saying a few words to the child, perhaps even in a joking tone, the parent sits him down opposite him and begins a boring and annoying speech. Such parents are sure that the main pedagogical wisdom lies in teachings. In such a family there is always little joy and smile. Parents try their best to be infallible. But they forget that children are not adults, that children have their own lives and that this life must be respected. A child lives more emotionally, more passionately than an adult; he is least able to engage in reasoning.

The authority of love. This is our most common type of false authority. Many parents are convinced: in order for children to obey, they need to love their parents, and in order to earn this love, it is necessary to show their children their parental love at every step. Tender words, endless kisses, caresses, confessions are showered on children in completely excessive quantities. If the child does not obey, he is immediately asked: “So you don’t love us?” Parents jealously watch the expression of their children's eyes and demand tenderness and love. Often, in front of the children, a mother tells her acquaintances: “He loves dad terribly and loves me terribly, he is such a gentle child...” Such a family is so immersed in a sea of ​​sentimentality that they no longer notice anything else. A child should do everything out of love for his parents. There are many dangerous places in this line. This is where family egoism grows. Children, of course, do not have enough strength for such love. Very soon they notice that mom and dad can be deceived in any way they want, they just need to do it with a gentle expression. You can even intimidate mom and dad if you just pout and show that love is starting to fade. From an early age, a child begins to understand that you can play along with people. And since he cannot love other people as much, he plays along with them without any love, with cold and cynical calculation. Sometimes it happens that love for parents lasts for a long time, but all other people are considered as strangers and aliens, there is no sympathy for them, no feeling. This is a very dangerous type of authority. He raises insincere and deceitful egoists. And very often the first victims of such selfishness are the parents themselves. Of course, showing “lovelessness” towards your child is important and necessary

The authority of kindness. This is the most stupid kind of authority. In this case, children's obedience is also organized through children's love, but it is caused not by kisses and outpourings, but by the compliance, gentleness, and kindness of parents. They allow everything, they don’t regret anything, they are wonderful parents. They are afraid of any conflicts, they prefer family peace, they are ready to sacrifice anything, if only everything would be fine. Very soon, in such a family, children begin to command their parents. Sometimes parents allow themselves a little resistance, but it’s too late.

The authority of friendship. Quite often, the children have not yet been born, but there is already an agreement between the parents: our children will be our friends. In general, this is, of course, good. Father and son, mother and daughter can be friends and should be friends, but still parents remain senior members of the family team, and children still remain pupils. If friendship reaches extreme limits, education stops, or the opposite process begins: children begin to educate their parents.

What should real parental authority in the family consist of? The main basis of parental authority can only be the life and work of parents, their civil persona, their behavior. The family is a big and responsible matter; parents lead this matter and are responsible for it to their own happiness and to the lives of their children. As soon as children begin to grow up, they are always interested in where their father or mother works, what their social status is. As early as possible, they should find out how they live, what they are interested in, who their parents are next to. The work of the father or mother should appear before the child as a serious matter worthy of respect. The merits of parents in the eyes of children should first of all be merits to society, and not just appearance. Children should see not only the merits of their parents, but also the merits of other people, and certainly the merits of their father and mother’s closest friends.

But parental work must also be done as best as possible, and this is where the roots of authority lie. And first of all, they must know how they live, what they are interested in, what they love, what they don’t love, what the child wants and doesn’t want. You need to know all this, but this does not mean that you need to harass your child with constant and annoying questions. From the very beginning, parents should arrange things in such a way that the children themselves talk about their affairs, so that they want to tell it. All this does not require much time.

2.4 Requirements for organizing interaction between teacher and parents

The success of the educational process depends on how the relationships develop between teachers, students and parents. To form cooperation between adults and children, it is important to imagine the team as a single whole, as a large family that unites and lives interestingly if joint activities of teachers, parents, and children are organized. This promotes unity, family cohesion, establishing mutual understanding between parents and children, and creating comfortable conditions in the family.

Therefore, it is advisable to organize a significant part of the educational work simultaneously with students and parents, and solve problems and assigned tasks together in order to come to an agreement without infringing on each other’s interests, and to join efforts to achieve better results.

The formation of cooperation between students, parents and teachers depends primarily on how the interaction of adults develops in this process. Parents and teachers are educators of the same children, and the result of education can be successful when teachers and parents become allies. The basis of this union is the unity of aspirations, views on the educational process, jointly developed common goals and educational tasks, and ways to achieve the intended results.

Both teachers and parents want to see their children healthy and happy. They are ready to support the initiatives of teachers aimed at satisfying and developing the interests and needs of children. Parents are adults with extensive life experience, knowledge, and the ability to comprehend events, therefore, in solving a number of issues and educational problems, the teacher can receive the necessary advice from parents. Cooperation between teachers and parents allows you to get to know the child better, look at him from different sides and positions, see him in different situations, and therefore help adults in understanding his individual characteristics, developing the child’s abilities, overcoming his negative actions and manifestations in behavior, and forming valuable life experiences. orientation.

Teachers play a decisive role in creating a union of teachers and parents and in establishing cooperative interaction between them. Union, mutual understanding between teachers and parents, their mutual trust are possible if the teacher excludes didacticism when working with parents, does not teach, but advises, thinks with them, and agrees on joint actions; tactfully leads them to understand the need to acquire pedagogical knowledge; if when communicating with parents the following phrases are heard more often: “What do you think?”, “Let’s decide together what to do,” “I’d like to hear your opinion.” The whole atmosphere of interaction and communication between the teacher and parents should show that the teacher needs parents, to join forces, that parents are his allies and he cannot do without their advice and help.

Not all parents respond to the teacher’s desire to cooperate with him or show interest in joining efforts to raise their child. The teacher needs patience and a focused search for ways to solve this problem. We should begin working and interacting with those who want to participate in the life of the class and support teachers, even if such parents are in the minority. Gradually, tactfully, the teacher involves other parents, relying on like-minded parents, taking into account the interests of each child and his family.

It is advisable to devote one of the parent meetings to the problem of cooperation between teachers and parents in raising children. The following questions may be suggested for discussion:

What is meant by human cooperation? Name its main manifestations.

Why is cooperation between teachers and parents necessary?

How can the school help parents, how can parents help the school and teachers?

What prevents teachers and parents from successfully collaborating? What is necessary for the interaction between teachers and parents to be fruitful?

Name possible forms of cooperation and joint work of teachers and parents.

What forms of joint activities can bring together and make friends between adults and children in our team?

Forms of interaction between teachers and parents are ways of organizing their joint activities and communication. It is advisable to combine collective, group and individual forms of interaction. Thus, it is useful to continue the discussion of any parenting problem at a parent meeting during individual meetings with parents or in group consultations.

Let us briefly describe the most common collective forms of interaction between teachers and parents.

A parent meeting is the main form of work with parents, where the problems of life in the classroom and parent groups are discussed. The class teacher directs the activities of parents in the process of preparation and is an ordinary participant in the meeting. The first meetings, providing an example of democratic discussion of issues, can be led by him himself, and in the future this role can be legitimately performed by the parents themselves.

Parent lecture hall. Helps familiarize parents with issues of education, improve their pedagogical culture, and develop common approaches to raising children. The name “lecture hall” is conditional. This does not mean that only lectures are given to parents. The forms of work are varied, and often they determine the position of parents not as passive listeners, but stimulate their activity, creativity, participation in the discussion of issues, in the organization and conduct of classes.

Parents participate in determining the topic of the lecture. If they find it difficult to formulate lesson topics or identify problems to study, the teacher will be able to offer a set of possible topics, taking into account available methodological recommendations, as well as the problems of raising children in a given group.

Conference on sharing experiences in raising children. Can be thematic. It is advisable to carry it out if there really is experience in positive family education on this issue. This form arouses interest, attracts the attention of parents, and the information sounds more convincing to them and is perceived by parents with greater confidence. To share experience, you can take several specific questions that are of greatest practical interest to parents. Many parents can speak out in this case, taking into account the problems in which they have achieved positive results.

An evening of questions and answers is held after a survey of parents and a list of problems that arise in raising children and relationships with them. A teacher can answer some questions; a specialist is invited to answer others (for example, in psychology, sex education). A number of problematic issues can be proposed for discussion by parents and become the basis for a specially prepared debate.

Dispute - reflection on the problems of education - is one of the forms of improving pedagogical culture that is interesting for parents. It takes place in a relaxed atmosphere, allows everyone to be included in the discussion of problems, promotes the formation of the ability to comprehensively analyze facts and phenomena, relying on accumulated experience, and awakens active pedagogical thinking. The participants in the debate themselves, divided into groups, can formulate the most interesting questions, and then select and preliminarily discuss those that can be brought up for collective discussion. This method allows everyone to be included in the search for the most correct solution to the issue, helps parents take a definite position, and provides everyone with the opportunity to speak out.

It is advisable to hold meetings with the administration and class teachers annually. Teachers introduce parents to their requirements and listen to parents’ wishes. It is possible to ask questions to each other, drawing up a program of action on identified problems in the process of a joint collective search. The meeting can be completed with individual consultations, conversations or work in groups, taking into account the problems and difficulties that have arisen in raising and teaching individual groups of children.

Group forms of interaction between teachers and parents are determined by the varying degrees of parents’ preparedness for raising children in the family, the specifics of their professional activities, the nature of parents’ participation in organizing the educational work of the class, the unequal role they play in the family, the individual characteristics of students, and the difficulties of family communication.

A particularly important form is the interaction of teachers with the parent committee, which can be elected by the parent meeting for the entire school year. In some classes where parents are active and interested, everyone takes turns serving as PTA members, distributed into groups as desired.

Parental assets are the support of teachers, and with skillful interaction, they become the conductor of their ideas. At meetings of the parent committee, which are held as needed, the teacher and parents develop ways to implement the ideas and decisions adopted by the meeting. Committee members can distribute responsibilities, roles, functions both in organizing work with parents and children, and determine ways to interact with individual parents and families. The Parents' Committee strives to involve parents and children in organizing class activities and solving problems in the life of the team.

Teachers and class teachers conduct group consultations and practical classes for parents, for example, to help children master the skills of mental activity and quick reading. Group classes can be exploratory in nature. Thus, teachers and the class teacher invite to the lesson the parents of those children who experience typical difficulties in learning activities.

Educators strive to tailor their lessons to the challenges of these students. After attending a number of lessons, teachers and parents together try to identify the reasons for children’s failure and find ways to help them.

A number of group classes for teachers and parents can be associated with equipping parents with the knowledge and skills of organizing the activities of clubs for children, club forms of work on weekends at home.

All this will help to better understand the child and find the most appropriate ways to solve the problems of raising a particular individual in the family and school.

Conclusion

The family is the most important environment for personality formation and an educational institution. The family is responsible for the population in general and for its children in particular. There are, of course, other factors that influence the development and formation of personality - this is the living environment, the learning environment, and even the recreation environment. But the family has a dominant function in this. “A person gets everything good and everything bad from his family!” - famous pedagogical wisdom.

The family introduces children to society and to life values. Introduces the environment and people. It also introduces the individual to work, thereby introducing him to future social life. And, finally, it instills spiritual values, which include faith, rules of human behavior in society, respect for the people around him, etc. But the educational process occurs not only when the parent (educator) talks to the child, explains something to him, teaches him, far from it. The educational process occurs every second, every moment you and your child spend together. Always remember Makarenko’s words: “Your own behavior is the most decisive thing for a child.” A child is a blank piece of paper, ready to be filled out. The child looks at you every second, absorbs the information that you give with your behavior. Everything is important - your speech, manners, your style of clothing, ways of communicating with strangers, friends, enemies, and of course their presence in general. How you sit, laugh, how you swing your leg, how you respond to this or that person, the expression on your face - all this and much more is very important and meaningful for your child. Children, like sponges - water, absorb all the information from your behavior.

Besides everything else, the child is very sensitive to your mood, despite his small age. He is very observant, and the child feels any slight change in your behavior, mood, tone with full force.

Any of your unworthy behavior will affect the child’s upbringing - drinking alcohol in front of him, smoking, obscene language, fights and insults and similar things - everything is perceived by the child and shapes his worldview.

If there is no trust, warmth, love, harmony, soul, or peace in your relationship with your spouse, then the child will have nothing to take from his school of family life. If the same thing does not happen in your relationship with your child, then do not be surprised that a difficult child has grown up in your family.

Most of a child's life takes place in the family. The family is the natural environment of the educational process. The family is his first cultural and educational niche. It informs the child about what is happening abroad, teaches him to position himself as an individual, develops spiritual, creative and even professional opportunities, abilities and skills. An equally important role is played by the living environment - hygienic conditions, food, interior, home library - it contributes not only to the development and upbringing of the child, but also has a positive or negative effect on his psyche. For example, if you remove all sharp, piercing, cutting, small and other objects that are not desirable for the baby, thereby creating safety in his movement, you exclude from your communication - screaming, tugging, spanking, scolding, etc. negativity - thereby not constraining activity of the child, do not squeeze him, do not make him indecisive, but raise a free and calm personality.

All life in a family is an educational process for the child and a pedagogical process for the parent. Teach by example! Any situation is important - how you feed him, how you put him to bed, how you will be with him, how you accompany him to kindergarten, school, how you part with him, how you meet, what you tell each other.

How do you spend your time at home? Verbal contact is also no less important; communicate with your child from the cradle, tell him about the world around him, about himself, about himself, about the space around him. Our great-great-great-great...grandmothers sang narrative songs, without rhyme, which simply listed who was doing what, who was responsible for what, what was happening at the moment, precisely to introduce the child to the world, to society, etc. When your child grows up, don’t be lazy to ask him about every minute of his time spent without you, how he spent it in kindergarten or school.

How and what he ate, how he slept, what he did, how he behaved. Who told him what and much more. The child will be happy to keep up the conversation with you. And he will tell you whole stories about how they found the Ladybug and how they released her into heaven, about how he spilled compote on himself and his neighbor laughed...

The family is the first to introduce the child to different types of activities - cognitive subject, play, creative, educational, communicative. The family supports the child, stimulates and develops in him everything that is in its infancy, organizes him.

The most important thing in this is do not forget to encourage your baby, praise, even reward for this or that action or deed.

Try to scold him as little as possible, especially don’t do it in public. It is also not recommended to scold and punish a child when -

2. Before and after sleep (or during the time when the child wakes up and does not want to go to bed again).

3. When the child eats. Along with eating, the child absorbs everything that happens. those. Negative information comes directly and is absorbed, which does not have a very good effect on the delicate psyche.

4. When the child is very busy with something.

5. When you yourself are in too bad a mood.

6. When a child’s age does not cope with the task.

We must never forget that the family is the first and most important school, the basis of foundations for a small, but already - person.

Literature

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3. Buyanov M.I. A child from a dysfunctional family. M., "Enlightenment", 1988

4. Makarenko A.S. About education. M., Political literature, 1988

5. Kovalev S.V. Psychology of the modern family. M., "Enlightenment", 1988

6. Cheredov I.M. About working with parents of students. Omsk-1975

7. Podlasy I.P. Pedagogy: Textbook. For students of higher education. textbook Head - M.: “Enlightenment”: Humanit. ed. VLADOS Center, 1996

8. Stolyarenko L.D. Pedagogy. Series “Textbooks, teaching aids.” -R.-on-D.: “Phoenix”, 2000

9. Baranov S.P. and others. Pedagogy: Proc. Manual for teachers school - M.: "Enlightenment", 1987

10. Andreeva G.M. 1980

11. Makarenko A.S. Lectures on raising children. Ped. op.8t.M.1984

The main conditions for success in raising children in a family can be considered the presence of a normal family atmosphere, the authority of parents, a proper daily routine, and timely introduction of the child to books, reading, and work.

A normal family atmosphere is the awareness by parents of their duty and sense of responsibility for raising children, based on mutual respect between father and mother, constant attention to educational, work and social life, help and support in large and small matters, with respect for the dignity of each member family, constant mutual display of tact; organization of family life and everyday life, which is based on the equality of all members, involving children in solving economic issues of family life, managing the household, and doing feasible work; in the reasonable organization of recreation in participation in sports and tourist trips, in joint walks, reading, listening to music, visiting the theater and cinema; mutual principled exactingness, a friendly tone in address, sincerity, love and cheerfulness in the family.

Family traditions, strong foundations and principles contribute to the creation of a highly moral atmosphere in the family. These include holding public and family birthday parties for adults and children. Preparing gifts by children and adults and presenting them with a special emotional upsurge creates that atmosphere of solemnity, joy and happiness that forms spiritual culture and “cements” the family as a collective.

Successful upbringing in a family will be provided that a clear daily routine for children is observed. The daily routine includes the child’s entire daily routine during the day - time for proper sleep, hardening procedures, orderly meals, all types of work and rest. The age and health status of the child are taken into account. The daily routine should have an educational value, which is only possible with the obligatory habituation to its implementation without adult reminders. Seniors must exercise control over the quality implementation of routine tasks and work assignments, evaluate them, and provide assistance in case of difficulties.

A special place in raising a child in the family should be given to reading. In preschool age, a child especially loves to listen to fairy tales that adults read to him, stories from the lives of people and animals. From books he learns about good people, about their deeds, learns about animals and plants. In the fairy tale, the strong, dexterous, fair, honest and hardworking person always wins, while the evil, unkind person is punished by people and society. Listening to a fairy tale, a child does not remain indifferent to the fate of the hero; he worries, worries, rejoices and is upset, that is, he develops feelings and gradually develops an interest in the book. When a child enters school and learns to read, it is important to consolidate interest and develop the skill of independent and systematic reading. This skill does not appear on its own; it requires coordinated and skillful work between school and family. Only this will introduce the child to reading, and he will begin to consider books as his companions in acquiring new knowledge. An emerging interest in reading will lead the child to the library or bookstore. He will have his own heroes whom he will imitate.

It is difficult to overestimate the importance of work in a person’s life. Physical labor ensures high vitality of muscles and all human organs and improves all physiological processes in the body - proper breathing, blood circulation, metabolism, growth of the whole body and individual organs. Physical labor is a means of combating fatigue, especially for people engaged in mental work. Changing types of work and a reasonable combination of them in a child’s daily routine ensures his successful mental activity and maintains working capacity.

Labor education is an integral part of the comprehensive development of the individual. By how the child treats work, what work skills he has, others will judge his value.

An important condition for the successful upbringing of children is the unity of requirements for children by all family members, as well as the same requirements for children from family and school. The lack of unity of requirements between school and family undermines the authority of the teacher and parents and leads to a loss of respect for them.

Spiritual needs developed at an early age, the ability to communicate with peers and adults enrich the child’s personality and require the use of opportunities in society. And they can be applied by trusting in collective forms of education.

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COURSE WORK

The role of the family in shaping the child’s personality.

ConditionsIsuccessful family education

Introduction

Chapter 1. The role of the family in shaping the child’s personality

1.1 Concept of family

1.2 Types of family (complete - single-parent, prosperous - dysfunctional)

1.3 What is the role of the family in the socialization of the child’s personality?

1.4 The main tasks of the family (creating conditions for the growth of the child, best practices for creating and maintaining a family, teaching the necessary skills and abilities, ensuring the protection of the child, instilling in the child a value-based attitude towards himself and other people)

Chapter 2. Conditions for successful family education

2.1 Basic conditions for successfully raising a child in a family

2.4 Requirements for organizing interaction between teacher and parents

Conclusion

Literature

Introduction

From the moment the child was born and began to settle in the world, he began to learn. While learning, the child is constantly being educated. The process of education is aimed at the formation of the social qualities of the individual, at creating and expanding the range of his relationships to the world around him - to society, to people, to himself. The wider, more diverse and deeper a person’s system of relationships to various aspects of life, the richer his own spiritual world.

Thus, the personality is formed in the process of active interaction with the outside world, mastering social experience and public values. Based on a person’s reflection of objective relationships, the formation of internal positions of the personality, individual characteristics of the mental makeup takes place, character, intelligence, and his attitude towards others and towards himself are formed. Being in a system of collective and interpersonal relationships, in the process of joint activities, the child asserts himself as an individual among other people.

No one is born with a ready-made character, interests, inclinations, will, or certain abilities. All these properties are developed and formed gradually, throughout life, from birth to adulthood. The first world surrounding a child, the initial unit of society, is the family, where the foundations of personality are laid. The child’s personality is formed under the influence of all social relations in which his life and activities take place. However, the level of moral culture of parents, their life plans and aspirations, social connections, and family traditions are of decisive importance in the development of a young person’s personality.

In the family, a child acquires beliefs and socially approved forms of behavior necessary for a normal life in society. It is in the family that the child’s individuality and his inner world are most manifested. Parental love helps to reveal and enrich the emotional, spiritual and intellectual spheres of children's lives.

The goal of family education is the formation of such qualities and personality traits that will help to overcome difficulties and obstacles with dignity. The development of intelligence and creative abilities, primary work experience, moral and aesthetic principles, emotional culture and physical health - all this depends on the family, on the parents, and all this constitutes the main goal of family education.

Chapter 1. The role of the family in shaping the child’s personality

1.1 Ponythis family

Among the various social factors influencing the development of personality, one of the most important is the family. Traditionally, the family is the main institution of education. What a person acquires in the family, he retains throughout his subsequent life. The importance of family is due to the fact that a person lives in it for a significant part of his life. The foundations of personality are laid in the family.

A family is a social and pedagogical group of people designed to optimally satisfy the needs for self-preservation (procreation) and self-affirmation (self-esteem) of each of its members.

The family creates in a person the concept of home not as a room where he lives, but as feelings, a feeling of a place where he is expected, loved, appreciated, understood and protected. The family plays the main role in the formation of moral principles and life principles of the child. The family creates personality or destroys it; it has the power of the family to strengthen or undermine the mental health of its members. The family encourages some personal drives while preventing others, satisfies or suppresses personal needs, and also contributes to the emergence of an individual’s image of his “I”.

In the process of close relationships with mother, father, brothers, sisters, grandfathers, grandmothers and other relatives, a personality structure begins to form in the child from the first days of life. In the family, the personality of not only the child, but also his parents is formed.

The determining role of the family is due to its profound influence on the entire complex of physical and spiritual life of the person growing in it. For a child, the family is both a living environment and an educational environment. The influence of the family, especially in the initial stage of a child’s life, far exceeds other educational processes. According to research, the family here reflects the school, the media, public organizations, work groups, friends, and the influence of literature and art. All this allowed teachers to deduce a certain dependence: the success of personality formation is determined primarily by the family. The better the family and the better its influence on education, the higher the result of the physical, moral, and labor education of the individual. An experienced teacher only needs to look and talk to the child to understand what kind of family he is being raised in. In the same way, it will not be difficult to communicate with parents and determine what kind of children will grow up in their family. Family and child are a mirror image of each other.

Parents - the first educators - have the strongest influence on children. Also J.-J. Rousseau argued that each subsequent educator has less influence on the child than the previous one. Parents are prior to everyone else; kindergarten teacher, primary school teacher and subject teachers. They are given an advantage by nature in raising children. Providing family education, its content and organizational aspects are an eternal and very responsible task for humanity.

Deep contacts with parents create a stable state of life in children, a feeling of confidence and reliability. And it brings a joyful feeling of satisfaction to parents. In healthy families, parents and children are connected through natural, everyday contact. This is such close communication between them, as a result of which spiritual unity arises, coordination of basic life aspirations and actions. The natural basis of such relationships is made up of family ties, feelings of motherhood and fatherhood, which are manifested in parental love and caring affection of children and parents.

The child sees the family as the close people around him: father and mother, grandparents, brothers and sisters. Depending on the composition of the family, on the relationships in the family with family members and in general with the people around them, a person looks at the world positively or negatively, forms his views, builds his relationships with others. Family relationships also influence how a person will build his career in the future and what path he will take. It is in the family that an individual receives his first life experience, therefore it is very important in which family the child is raised: prosperous or dysfunctional, complete or incomplete.

1.2 Types of family (complete - incomplete, prosperous - dysfunctional)

A.S. Makarenko attached particular importance to family structure. He introduced the concept of “complete” and “incomplete family”, meaning by this a family that does not have a father or mother. The upbringing and successful socialization of the child depend on the structure of the family. Stepfamilies with a stepfather or stepmother are usually included in two-parent families. These families are considered complete because each of them has a husband, wife and child (children), and the stepfather is obliged to take care of his wife’s children as if they were his own, and the children must obey him, like a father. A family of a single mother or father with children is usually considered incomplete.

A single woman-mother often develops a purely negative set of feelings towards men, towards marriage and family life, and, consequently, children may develop deformed and distorted ideas about marriage and family. A decrease in the educational capabilities of a single-parent family occurs as a result of a combination of a number of unfavorable circumstances, such as the long-term influence of conflict situations on children, a tense psychological situation due to the incorrect attitude of family members to the characteristics of the life of a single-parent family, the inability to choose a pedagogically appropriate style of education, the emergence of situations of emotional “ hunger” or excessive, sacrificial parental love, as well as often the immoral behavior of the parent, his low cultural, educational and professional levels, material and everyday difficulties, and weak connections with school.

Families in which children live with a grandfather or grandmother, but without a father and mother, can also be considered incomplete, since their parents divorced, and the mother then either died or was deprived of parental rights for drunkenness and abuse of children, after which the elderly took the children for education. Or the mother found herself a new husband or partner who did not want to take care of the child, and she herself gave the child to her parents. In these cases, even if the older grandparent generation is represented by a married couple, the family is certainly incomplete, since there is no middle, that is, parental generation in it at all.

From a psychological and pedagogical point of view, grandparents who perform parental functions are unlikely to replace parents, since their role in the family is fundamentally different. Likewise, families in which children live with uncles, aunts, older brothers and sisters, or other relatives are incomplete.

In our society, the family crisis is becoming more and more noticeable. The crisis is expressed in the fact that the family is increasingly fulfilling its main function - raising children. The reasons for this crisis are only partly related to the deterioration of the economic situation; they are of a more general nature. A frivolous attitude towards marriage and family, forgetfulness of traditions, moral principles, cynicism, drunkenness, lack of self-discipline and sexual promiscuity, a high percentage of divorces have the most detrimental effect on the upbringing of children.

Dysfunctional families. A dysfunctional family is a family in which the structure is disrupted, basic family functions are devalued or ignored, and there are obvious or hidden defects in upbringing, resulting in the appearance of “difficult children.”

One of the most powerful unfavorable factors that destroys not only the family, but also the peace of mind of the child is parental drunkenness.

1.3 What is the role of the family in the socialization of the child’s personality?

A person has a rather long childhood: a lot of time passes before a small child turns into an adult, independent member of society. And all this time he is in dire need of a parental family, which is the most important and influential factor in socialization. A long period of helplessness of a child, stretching over years, forces parents to pay considerable attention to both caring for children (a traditionally female role) and protecting them (a traditionally male one). The family is the first and main social group that actively influences the formation of the child’s personality. In a family, natural-biological and social connections of parents and children are intertwined. These connections are very important, because they determine the mental characteristics and primary socialization of children at the earliest stage of their development. Being one of the important factors of social influence, a specific social microenvironment, the family has an overall influence on the physical, mental and social development of the child. The role of the family is to gradually introduce the child into society so that his development is consistent with human nature and the culture of the country where he was born.

Teaching a child the social experience that humanity has accumulated, the culture of the country where he was born and growing up, its moral standards, and the traditions of the people is the direct function of parents. It is impossible to divide the functions of the family into main and secondary ones, all family functions are the main thing, however, the need to distinguish among them those special ones that make it possible to distinguish the family from other institutions has led to the identification of specific and non-specific functions of the family.

The specific functions of the family, which include birth (reproductive function), raising children (existential function) and raising children (socialization function), remain with all changes in society, although the nature of the connection between family and society may change over the course of history.

Non-specific functions of the family related to the accumulation and transfer of property, status, organization of production and consumption, household, recreation and leisure, related to caring for the health and well-being of family members, with the creation of a microclimate that helps relieve stress and self-preservation of everyone’s self, etc. - all these functions reflect the historical nature of the connection between family and society, revealing a historically emerging picture of how exactly the birth, maintenance and upbringing of children in the family occurs.

An important role in the process of primary socialization is played by raising a child in the family. Parents were and remain the child's first educators. The most important thing that parents should accept is that a born child is already a person, only an inexperienced person who does not have knowledge about the world of things and has not determined his attitude towards them. Of course, pedagogy, educational techniques, knowledge of psychology, observation, interest - all these methods are quite relevant in the process of education, but how this or that educational influence will affect a small personality, in the sense of its internal content, is sometimes impossible to foresee if this is done logically. Without sincere love for a child, any educational measures are doomed to failure.

From all the information about the world, your child will perceive what his essence requests. The paradox of education is that the child wants to become what he wants to become. There is only one way to change his desires - let him into your world, show him your aspirations and values, and, perhaps, the little man will trust you so much that he will accept them for himself. Or he won't accept it. Or he will accept some others. The most blasphemous, as it may seem to some, conclusion for parents is to help the child become what he wants, because he will become whoever he wants. All parents can do is help or hinder. Our inner world is the number one tool of education.

Raising children in a family is a complex social and pedagogical process. It includes the influence of the entire atmosphere and microclimate of the family on the formation of the child’s personality. The possibility of educational interaction on him is already inherent in the very nature of the relationship of parents to children, the essence of which lies in reasonable guardianship, the conscious care of elders for the younger. Father and mother show care, attention, affection to their child, protect them from life’s adversities and difficulties. The personal example of parents is the most important means of influencing the upbringing of children. Its educational significance is based on the inherent tendency to imitate in childhood. Without sufficient knowledge and experience, the child copies adults and imitates their actions. The nature of the parents' relationship, the degree of their mutual agreement, attention, sensitivity and respect, ways of solving various problems, the tone and nature of conversations - all this is perceived by the child and becomes a model for his own behavior. Thus, the surrounding social microenvironment, the psychological climate in the family, the conditions of upbringing, relationships with parents and the personality of the parents themselves are necessarily reflected on the child and, first of all, on the characteristics of his character. If the family atmosphere is unfavorable for the child’s mental development, then it is likely that the formed personality traits will also be pathological. Along with the fact that the personality of parents undoubtedly plays a leading role in shaping the worldview and moral beliefs of children, we should not forget that parents themselves often lose sight of the fact that the atmosphere that has developed in the family can have a significant impact on personal development children raised there.

1.4 Basic assachi family

Family education is a complex system. It is influenced by heredity and natural health of children and parents, material and economic security, social status, lifestyle, number of family members, place of residence (place of home), attitude towards the child. All this is organically intertwined and manifests itself differently in each specific case.

What are the tasks of the family? They are to: create maximum conditions for the growth and development of the child; ensure socio-economic and psychological protection of the child; convey the experience of creating and maintaining a family, raising children in it and relationships with elders; teach children useful applied skills and abilities aimed at self-care and helping loved ones; to develop a sense of self-esteem, the value of one’s own “I”.

In the first year of a child’s life, the main concern of parents is to create normal conditions for physical development, ensure a diet and throughout life, and normal sanitary and hygienic conditions. During this period, the child already expresses his needs, reacts to pleasant and unpleasant impressions and expresses his desires in his own way. The task of adults is to learn to distinguish between needs and whims, since the child's needs must be met and whims suppressed. Thus, the child in the family receives his first moral lessons, without which he cannot develop a system of moral habits and concepts.

In the second year of life, the child begins to walk, strives to touch everything with his own hands, to reach the unattainable, and mobility sometimes gives him a lot of grief. Education during this period should be based on the reasonable inclusion of the child in various types of activities; he should be shown everything, explained, taught to observe, play with him, tell stories and answer questions. But, if his actions go beyond the boundaries of what is permitted, the child must be taught to understand and unquestioningly obey the word.

In preschool age, the main activity of a child is play. Children three and four years old prefer construction and household games. By constructing various buildings, the child learns about the world around him. The child takes situations for games from life. The wisdom of parents is to quietly tell the child what the hero (the main character) should do in the game. Thus, they teach him to understand what is good and what is bad, what moral qualities are valued and respected in society, and what are condemned.

Preschoolers and primary schoolchildren receive their first moral experience in the family, learn to respect their elders, take them into account, learn to do something pleasant, joyful, and kind to people.

The moral principles of a child are formed on the basis and in connection with the intensive mental development of the child, the indicator of which is his actions and speech. Therefore, it is important to enrich children’s vocabulary and, when talking with them, to provide an example of good pronunciation of sounds and words and sentences in general. In order to develop speech, parents should teach children to observe natural phenomena, identify similar and different things in them, listen to fairy tales and stories and convey their content, answer questions and ask their own.

Speech development is an indicator of an increase in the child’s general culture, a condition for his mental, moral and aesthetic development.

In preschool age, children are very mobile, they cannot concentrate on one thing for a long time, or quickly switch from one type of activity to another. Schooling will require concentration, perseverance, and diligence from the child. Therefore, it is important, even in preschool age, to accustom a child to be thorough in the tasks he carries out, to teach him to complete a task or game he has started, and to show perseverance and perseverance. It is necessary to develop these qualities in play and household work, including the child in collective work on cleaning the premises, in the garden, or playing household or outdoor games with him.

As a child grows up in a family, the tasks, means and methods of education change. The educational program includes sports and outdoor games. A large place is occupied by the issues of sanitary and hygienic training of children, the development of skills and habits of personal hygiene, and a culture of behavior. The right relationships are established between boys and girls - relationships of camaraderie, mutual attention and care. The best means of cultivating correct relationships is the personal example of father and mother, their mutual respect, help and care, manifestations of tenderness and affection. If children see good relationships in the family, then, as adults, they themselves will strive for the same beautiful relationships. In childhood, it is important to cultivate a feeling of love for your loved ones - for parents, for brothers and sisters, so that children feel affection for one of their peers, affection and tenderness for younger ones.

The family plays a large role in labor education. Children are directly involved in household work, learn to serve themselves, and perform feasible labor duties to help their father and mother. Their success in learning, as well as in general labor education, depends on how the labor education of children is carried out even before school. The presence in children of such an important personality quality as hard work is a good indicator of their moral education.

Thus, we can conclude that the family is the child’s first school of communication. In a family, a child learns to respect elders, take care of the elderly and sick, and provide all possible assistance to each other. In communicating with people close to the child, in joint household work, he develops a sense of duty and mutual assistance. Children are especially sensitive to relationships with adults, do not tolerate moralizing, harshness, orders, have a hard time with the rudeness of elders, mistrust and deception, petty control and suspicion, dishonesty and insincerity of parents.

The family has favorable conditions for the aesthetic education of children. A child’s sense of beauty begins with an acquaintance with a bright and beautiful toy, a colorfully designed book, or a cozy apartment. A good means of aesthetic education is nature with its beautiful and unique colors and landscapes. When communicating with nature, the child is surprised, happy, proud of what he saw, heard the singing of birds, and at this time the education of feelings occurs. A sense of beauty and interest in beauty help to cultivate the need to cherish and create beauty. The aesthetics of everyday life has great educational power. In cultivating a sense of beauty, a significant role belongs to the manner of dressing correctly and beautifully. The success of upbringing in a family can be ensured when favorable conditions are created for the growth and all-round development of the child.

Chapter 2. Conditions for successful family education

2.1 Basic conditions for successfully raising a child in a family

The main conditions for success in raising children in a family can be considered the presence of a normal family atmosphere, the authority of parents, a proper daily routine, and timely introduction of the child to books, reading, and work.

A normal family atmosphere is the awareness by parents of their duty and sense of responsibility for raising children, based on mutual respect between father and mother, constant attention to educational, work and social life, help and support in large and small matters, with respect for the dignity of each member family, constant mutual display of tact; organization of family life and everyday life, which is based on the equality of all members, involving children in solving economic issues of family life, managing the household, and doing feasible work; in the reasonable organization of recreation in participation in sports and tourist trips, in joint walks, reading, listening to music, visiting the theater and cinema; mutual principled exactingness, a friendly tone in address, sincerity, love and cheerfulness in the family.

Family traditions, strong foundations and principles contribute to the creation of a highly moral atmosphere in the family. These include holding public and family birthday parties for adults and children. Preparing gifts by children and adults and presenting them with a special emotional upsurge creates that atmosphere of solemnity, joy and happiness that forms spiritual culture and “cements” the family as a collective.

Successful upbringing in a family will be provided that a clear daily routine for children is observed. The daily routine includes the child’s entire daily routine during the day - time for proper sleep, hardening procedures, orderly meals, all types of work and rest. The age and health status of the child are taken into account. The daily routine should have an educational value, which is only possible with the obligatory habituation to its implementation without adult reminders. Seniors must exercise control over the quality implementation of routine tasks and work assignments, evaluate them, and provide assistance in case of difficulties.

A special place in raising a child in the family should be given to reading. In preschool age, a child especially loves to listen to fairy tales that adults read to him, stories from the lives of people and animals. From books he learns about good people, about their deeds, learns about animals and plants. In the fairy tale, the strong, dexterous, fair, honest and hardworking person always wins, while the evil, unkind person is punished by people and society. Listening to a fairy tale, a child does not remain indifferent to the fate of the hero; he worries, worries, rejoices and is upset, that is, he develops feelings and gradually develops an interest in the book. When a child enters school and learns to read, it is important to consolidate interest and develop the skill of independent and systematic reading. This skill does not appear on its own; it requires coordinated and skillful work between school and family. Only this will introduce the child to reading, and he will begin to consider books as his companions in acquiring new knowledge. An emerging interest in reading will lead the child to the library or bookstore. He will have his own heroes whom he will imitate.

It is difficult to overestimate the importance of work in a person’s life. Physical labor ensures high vitality of the muscles and all human organs and improves all physiological processes in the body - proper breathing, blood circulation, metabolism, growth of the whole body and individual organs. Physical labor is a means of combating fatigue, especially for people engaged in mental work. Changing types of work and a reasonable combination of them in a child’s daily routine ensures his successful mental activity and maintains working capacity.

Labor education is an integral part of the comprehensive development of the individual. By how the child treats work, what work skills he has, others will judge his value.

An important condition for the successful upbringing of children is the unity of requirements for children by all family members, as well as the same requirements for children from family and school. The lack of unity of requirements between school and family undermines the authority of the teacher and parents and leads to a loss of respect for them.

The upbringing of children begins at an age when no logical proof or presentation of social rights is possible at all, and yet without authority, an educator is impossible.

Parental example and authority are a specific form of transfer of social, including moral experience of the older generation to the younger, the most important mechanism of social inheritance. The father and mother must have this authority in the eyes of the child. We often hear the question: what to do with a child if he doesn’t listen? This very “does not obey” is a sign that the parents do not have authority in his eyes.

Where does parental authority come from, how is it organized? Those parents whose children “don’t obey” sometimes tend to think that authority is given by nature, that it is a special talent. If there is no talent, then nothing can be done, all that remains is to envy the one who has such talent. These parents are wrong. Authority can be organized in every family, and this is not even a very difficult matter.

The main basis of parental authority can only be the life and work of parents, their civil persona, their behavior. The family is a big and responsible matter; parents lead this matter and are responsible for it to society, to their own happiness and to the lives of their children. If parents do this honestly and wisely, if significant and wonderful goals are set for them, if they themselves always give themselves a full account of their actions and deeds, this means that they have parental authority and do not need to look for any other grounds and Moreover, there is no need to come up with anything artificial. At the same time, one must always remember that every human activity has its own tensions and its own dignity. Under no circumstances should parents present themselves to their children as champions in their field, as incomparable geniuses. Children should see the merits of other people, and certainly the merits of their father’s closest comrades and mother. The civic authority of parents will only reach its true heights if it is not the authority of an upstart or a braggart, but the authority of a member of the team.

The authority of knowledge necessarily leads to the authority of help. In the life of every child there are many cases when he does not know what to do, when he needs advice and help. Maybe he won’t ask you for help because he doesn’t know how to do it; you yourself must come with help.

Often this help can be provided in direct advice, sometimes in a joke, sometimes in an order, sometimes even in an order. If you know your child's life, you will see for yourself what is the best course of action. It often happens that this help needs to be provided in a special way. Sometimes you need to either take part in a children's game, or get to know the children's friends, or visit the school and talk to the teacher. If there are several children in your family, and this is the happiest case, older brothers and sisters can be involved in providing such assistance.

Parental help should not be intrusive, annoying, or tiring. In some cases, it is absolutely necessary to let the child get out of a difficulty on his own; he needs to get used to overcoming obstacles and resolving more complex issues. But you must always see how the child performs this operation; you must not allow him to become confused and despair. Sometimes it is even better for the child to see your alertness, attention and trust in his strengths.

The authority of help. In the life of every child there are many cases when he does not know what to do, when he needs advice and help. Maybe he won’t ask you for help because he doesn’t know how to do it; you yourself must come with help. Often this help can be provided in direct advice, sometimes in a joke, sometimes in an order, sometimes even in an order. If you know your child's life, you will see for yourself how to act in the best way. It often happens that this help needs to be provided in a special way. Sometimes you need to either take part in a children's game or get to know the children's friends. If there are several children in your family, and this is the happiest case, older children can be involved in such assistance. Parental help should not be intrusive, annoying, or tiring. In some cases, it is absolutely necessary to allow the child to get out of difficulties on his own; he needs to get used to overcoming obstacles. The child will feel your presence next to him, your insurance, but at the same time he will know that you are demanding something from him, that you are not going to do everything for him, to relieve him of responsibility. It is the line of responsibility that is an important line of parental authority. Well, in general, in order to know your child, you need to be able to listen and hear him. Unfortunately, there are parents who organize such authority on false grounds.

The authority of suppression. This is the worst kind of authority, although not the most harmful. Fathers suffer the most from such authority. If the father always growls at home, is always angry, bursts into thunder at every trifle, grabs his belt at every convenient and inconvenient occasion, answers every question with rudeness, marks every child’s guilt with punishment - then this is the authority of suppression. Such paternal, and perhaps maternal, terror keeps the entire family in fear, not only children, but also other family members, for example, the mother. It is harmful not only because it intimidates children, but also because it makes the mother a zero being who can only be a servant. He does not educate anything, he only teaches children to stay away from their father, he causes children's lies and human cowardice, and at the same time he instills cruelty in the child.

The authority of swagger. This is a special type of harmful authority. Each person has his own merits. But some people believe that they are the most deserved, the most important figures, and show this importance to their children. At home, all they do is talk about their merits; they are arrogant towards other people. It happens very often that, amazed by this kind of father, children begin to behave the same way.

The authority of pedantry. In this case, parents pay more attention to their children. They are confident that children should listen to every parent’s word with trepidation, that their word is sacred. They give their orders in a cold tone, and once they are given, they immediately become law. Such parents are most afraid that their children will think that dad was mistaken, that dad is not a strong person. If such a dad said: “Tomorrow it will rain, you can’t go for a walk,” then even if the weather is good tomorrow, it is still considered that you can’t go for a walk. Dad didn’t like any movie; he generally forbade the children to go to the movies, including good movies. The life of a child, his interests, his growth pass by such a dad unnoticed; he sees nothing but his bureaucratic superiors in the family.

The authority of reasoning. In this case, parents literally eat up their child’s life with endless teachings and edifying conversations. Instead of saying a few words to the child, perhaps even in a joking tone, the parent sits him down opposite him and begins a boring and annoying speech. Such parents are sure that the main pedagogical wisdom lies in teachings. In such a family there is always little joy and smile. Parents try their best to be infallible. But they forget that children are not adults, that children have their own lives and that this life must be respected. A child lives more emotionally, more passionately than an adult; he is least able to engage in reasoning.

The authority of love. This is our most common type of false authority. Many parents are convinced: in order for children to obey, they need to love their parents, and in order to earn this love, it is necessary to show their children their parental love at every step. Tender words, endless kisses, caresses, confessions are showered on children in completely excessive quantities. If the child does not obey, he is immediately asked: “So you don’t love us?” Parents jealously watch the expression of their children's eyes and demand tenderness and love. Often, in front of the children, a mother tells her acquaintances: “He loves dad terribly and loves me terribly, he is such a gentle child...” Such a family is so immersed in a sea of ​​sentimentality that they no longer notice anything else. A child should do everything out of love for his parents. There are many dangerous places in this line. This is where family egoism grows. Children, of course, do not have enough strength for such love. Very soon they notice that mom and dad can be deceived in any way they want, they just need to do it with a gentle expression. You can even intimidate mom and dad if you just pout and show that love is starting to fade. From an early age, a child begins to understand that you can play along with people. And since he cannot love other people as much, he plays along with them without any love, with cold and cynical calculation. Sometimes it happens that love for parents lasts for a long time, but all other people are considered as strangers and aliens, there is no sympathy for them, no feeling. This is a very dangerous type of authority. He raises insincere and deceitful egoists. And very often the first victims of such selfishness are the parents themselves. Of course, showing “lovelessness” towards your child is important and necessary.

The authority of kindness. This is the most stupid kind of authority. In this case, children's obedience is also organized through children's love, but it is caused not by kisses and outpourings, but by the compliance, gentleness, and kindness of parents. They allow everything, they don’t regret anything, they are wonderful parents. They are afraid of any conflicts, they prefer family peace, they are ready to sacrifice anything, if only everything would be fine. Very soon, in such a family, children begin to command their parents. Sometimes parents allow themselves a little resistance, but it’s too late.

The authority of friendship. Quite often, the children have not yet been born, but there is already an agreement between the parents: our children will be our friends. In general, this is, of course, good. Father and son, mother and daughter can be friends and should be friends, but still parents remain senior members of the family team, and children still remain pupils. If friendship reaches extreme limits, education stops, or the opposite process begins: children begin to educate their parents.

2.4 Requirements for organizing interaction between teacher and parents

family education child teacher personality

The success of the educational process depends on how the relationships develop between teachers, students and parents. To form cooperation between adults and children, it is important to imagine the team as a single whole, as a large family that unites and lives interestingly if joint activities of teachers, parents, and children are organized. This promotes unity, family cohesion, establishing mutual understanding between parents and children, and creating comfortable conditions in the family.

Therefore, it is advisable to organize a significant part of the educational work simultaneously with students and parents, and solve problems and assigned tasks together in order to come to an agreement without infringing on each other’s interests, and to join efforts to achieve better results.

The formation of cooperation between students, parents and teachers depends primarily on how the interaction of adults develops in this process. Parents and teachers are educators of the same children, and the result of education can be successful when teachers and parents become allies. The basis of this union is the unity of aspirations, views on the educational process, jointly developed common goals and educational tasks, and ways to achieve the intended results.

Both teachers and parents want to see their children healthy and happy. They are ready to support the initiatives of teachers aimed at satisfying and developing the interests and needs of children. Parents are adults with extensive life experience, knowledge, and the ability to comprehend events, therefore, in solving a number of issues and educational problems, the teacher can receive the necessary advice from parents. Cooperation between teachers and parents allows you to get to know the child better, look at him from different sides and positions, see him in different situations, and therefore help adults in understanding his individual characteristics, developing the child’s abilities, overcoming his negative actions and manifestations in behavior, and forming valuable life experiences. orientation.

Teachers play a decisive role in creating a union of teachers and parents and in establishing cooperative interaction between them. Union, mutual understanding between teachers and parents, their mutual trust are possible if the teacher excludes dictatorship in working with parents, does not teach, but advises, thinks with them, and agrees on joint actions; tactfully leads them to understand the need to acquire pedagogical knowledge; if when communicating with parents the following phrases are heard more often: “What do you think”, “Let’s decide together what to do”, “I would like to hear your opinion.” The whole atmosphere of interaction and communication between the teacher and parents should show that the teacher needs parents, to join forces, that parents are his allies and he cannot do without their advice and help.

Not all parents respond to the teacher’s desire to cooperate with him or show interest in joining efforts to raise their child. The teacher needs patience and a focused search for ways to solve this problem. We should begin working and interacting with those who want to participate in the life of the class and support teachers, even if such parents are in the minority. Gradually, tactfully, the teacher involves other parents, relying on like-minded parents, taking into account the interests of each child and his family.

Conclusion

The family is the most important environment for personality formation and an educational institution. The family is responsible for the population in general and for its children in particular. There are, of course, other factors that influence the development and formation of personality - these are the living environment, the learning environment, and even the recreation environment. But the family has a dominant function in this. “A person gets everything good and everything bad from his family!” - famous pedagogical wisdom.

The family introduces children to society and to life values. Introduces the environment and people. It also introduces the individual to work, thereby introducing him to future social life. And, finally, it instills spiritual values, which include faith, rules of human behavior in society, respect for the people around him, etc. But the educational process occurs not only when the parent (educator) talks to the child, explains something to him, teaches him, far from it. The educational process occurs every second, every moment you and your child spend together. Always remember Makarenko’s words: “Your own behavior is the most decisive thing for a child.” A child is a blank piece of paper, ready to be filled out. The child looks at you every second, absorbs the information that you give with your behavior. Everything is important - your speech, manners, your style of clothing, ways of communicating with strangers, friends, enemies, and of course their presence in general. How you sit, laugh, how you swing your leg, how you speak about this or that person, the expression on your face - all this and much more is very important and meaningful for your child. Children, like sponges, absorb all the information from your behavior.

Among other things, the child is very sensitive to your mood, despite his small age. He is very observant, and the child feels any slight change in your behavior, mood, tone with full force.

Any of your unworthy behavior will affect the child's upbringing - drinking alcohol in front of him, smoking, obscene language, fights and insults and similar things - everything is perceived by the child and shapes his worldview. If there is no trust, warmth, love, harmony, soul, or peace in your relationship with your spouse, then the child will have nothing to take from his school of family life.

Most of a child's life takes place in the family. The family is the natural environment of the educational process. Family is his first cultural and educational niche. It informs the child about what is happening abroad, teaches him to position himself as an individual, and develops spiritual, creative and even professional capabilities, abilities and skills. The living environment plays an equally important role - hygienic conditions, food, interior, home library - it contributes not only to the development and upbringing of the child, but also has a positive or negative effect on his psyche. For example, if you remove all sharp, piercing, cutting, small and other objects that are not desirable for the baby, thereby creating safety in his movement, you exclude from your communication - screaming, tugging, spanking, scolding, etc. negativity - thereby not constraining activity of the child, do not squeeze him, do not make him indecisive, but raise a free and calm personality.

All life in a family is an educational process for the child and a pedagogical process for the parent.

Teach by example! Any situation is important - how you feed him, how you put him to bed, how you look after him, how you accompany him to kindergarten, school, how you part with him, how you meet, what you tell each other. How do you spend your time at home? Verbal contact is also no less important; communicate with your child from the cradle, tell him about the world around him, about himself, about himself, about the space around him.

The family is the first to introduce the child to various types of activities - cognitive subject, play, creative, educational, communicative. The family supports the child, stimulates and develops everything in him that is in its infancy, and organizes him.

The most important thing in this is do not forget to encourage your baby, praise, even reward for this or that action or deed. Try to scold him as little as possible, especially don’t do it in public. It is also not recommended to scold and punish a child when he is sick, before and after sleep (or at a time when the child wakes up and does not want to go to bed again), when he eats (along with eating, the child absorbs negative information, which also negatively affects his tender psyche), when the child is very busy with something, when you are in a very bad mood, when the child’s age cannot cope with the task.

We must never forget that the family is the first and most important school, the basis of foundations for a small, but already - person. Each family has its own methods of education, depending on what priorities are set in relationships and what stereotypes dominate in the family. And what principles and methods of education to adhere to so that your child grows up as a real person is up to you to decide.

Literature

1. Sociology of the family, ed. A. I. Antonova. M., 2005.

2. Gerasimova I. A. Family structure. M., 1974.

3. Buyanov M.I. A child from a dysfunctional family. M., "Enlightenment", 1988

4. Makarenko A.S. About education. M., Political literature, 1988

5. Kovalev S.V. Psychology of the modern family. M., "Enlightenment", 1988

6. Cheredov I.M. About working with parents of students. Omsk-1975

7. Podlasy I.P. Pedagogy: Textbook. For students of higher education. textbook Head - M.: “Enlightenment”: Humanit. ed. VLADOS Center, 1996

8. Stolyarenko L.D. Pedagogy. Series “Textbooks, teaching aids.” -R.-on-D.: “Phoenix”, 2000

9. Baranov S.P. and others. Pedagogy: Proc. Manual for teachers school - M.: "Enlightenment", 1987

10. Andreeva G.M. 1980

11. Makarenko A.S. Lectures on raising children. Ped. op.8t.M.1984

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