June 01, 2016

Remember how your life changed with the birth of your first child. Admit it: you were his undivided possession. What happens to the children who are born after? They are forced to “share” their mother with their brothers and sisters. They are incredibly happy about the success of their first child, and worry about it in the same way. With the advent of the second, the picture changes: mom and dad are less inclined to so-called micromanagement and become more flexible in matters of communication and education. As a result, the older one programs himself for independence, success and achievement, while the younger one is busy trying to capture the attention of his parents. One family, but such different children. Why is that? Note to parents and nanny for 3 children.

Scientists confidently prove that the order in which children are born in a family is one of the factors in character formation, along with gender and genetics. The special status of the first-born, middle and eldest child is due to the different behavior of the parents. The famous psychologist, teacher, writer Gail Gross talks quite interestingly about what and how influences the fate of children, depending on whether they were first, second or third, and conventionally identifies 4 types of personalities.

First: reacher

Older children are more like “representatives” of their category - other firstborns - than like their own brothers and sisters. Parental hypercontrol definitely affected the character: the child is not spoiled, responsible, purposeful - a kind of mini-copy of the parents.

They often crave approval for their successes and grow up to be perfectionists and caring brothers and sisters. With the advent of the latter, he realizes that he no longer claims exclusivity of attention. However, he often achieves heights in his career, holding leadership positions in such important fields as medicine and law.

Achiever in the words of a child:

• “I love it when everyone pays attention to me.”
• “There are so many adults around, they will reveal a lot to me.”
• “Petya has a younger sister, I really want it too.”
• “My sister scattered toys everywhere, and for some reason I have to clean up.”

Medium: peacemaker

As a rule, the middle child in the family is sociable, compliant, sympathetic and good-natured. With all this, he is not without a desire to compete. The most important thing for him is justice. In the future, he will have a small but reliable circle of friends, which will become a kind of continuation of the family circle. These people will help fill the peacemaker with the attention he lacked from his parents. A distinctive feature of the middle child is the presence of excellent communication skills, these will play a role in professional development.

Peacemaker in the words of a child:

• “Everyone treats me like a child, but I’m an adult. I’ll try to find comfort with my friends.”
• “Nobody in this world understands me at all, and that hurts.”

Third: the soul of the company

Raising a third child is no longer a problem for parents, because they have fully mastered their role and now know what to worry about and what not to worry about. In turn, the youngest is guaranteed unlimited freedom, and if a nanny is hired for 3 children, for example, then she must know how not to turn this freedom into permissiveness.

Paradoxically, the third child has more in common with the oldest child, and both receive both emotional and physical support due to the fact that they have great authority in the eyes of their parents. Younger children easily charm those around them and find fulfillment in creative and not too serious areas from the point of view of responsibility: acting, directing, literature. Minimal parental control has borne fruit: the “younger ones” are more creative in finding themselves.

The soul of the company in the words of a child:

• “It’s so cool to be the youngest because everyone takes care of me.”
• “The older brother takes his anger out on me, but he seems to listen to his parents.”
• “I have the best sister: she understands me and loves me more than anyone.”

The One: Lone Wolf

A baby in the land of giants, a projection of “mom’s” dreams, the center of the universe - all this is about an only child. He is surrounded by sufficient attention from adults, grows up among them and is distinguished by his intelligence from an early age. Experience communicating with adults shapes responsibility and organizational abilities. Such a child has a rich imagination, in many ways he is similar to first-born and younger children. It is these children who sensitively feel how desired and adored they are in the family, and, therefore, grow up confident in their independence.

Lone wolf in the words of a child:

• “I’m considered an adult, which is cool.”
• “I want to approach those guys, but I won’t do it myself. It’s better with mom.”
• “Why should I suddenly give someone else my own toys? I won’t, they are only mine.”

Knowing the characteristics of these types, it will be easier for you to build open relationships with children who are radically different, but close to each other. Taking the above information into account, create an environment that will best unleash their potential. Do not forget: whatever role the first, second, third or only child has, he must choose his own path, but not without the support of his individuality.

Who we will ultimately become and what character we will have is influenced by many factors and even what kind of child in the family we were born. Although parents pay almost no attention to this, when shaping the child’s character, this factor will be embedded in him from the very first day of birth.

Scientists and psychologists have drawn a relationship between a person’s character and what kind of child he is in the family. And this is what happened:

1. The first child is usually extremely intelligent and reliable in relationships. First children almost always choose professions that require dedication and commitment. That’s why there are so many of them, for example, doctors. Parents often ask older children to look after younger ones, which makes them responsible and reliable.

2. The second child in the family often receives help from his older brother or sister, so he often persistently demands freedom. And he grows up more independent from his parents. They are also almost always more spoiled: when any disputes arise in the family, younger children can usually count on more support than older ones.

3. Rivalry often develops between the eldest and youngest children in the family. When children are small, this manifests itself in the fact that the older child begins to be capricious more than usual.

Experts say that in practice, parents fail to give equal amounts of attention to both children. For this reason, if there are two children in a family, the eldest will most likely be more intelligent, although more religious. But younger children are usually more relaxed, more confident and not so afraid of change.

4. When there are three children in a family, the middle children often complain that they have to wear clothes inherited from their older brothers and sisters. On the other hand, they are usually calmer than younger and older children; they perceive adversity and quarrels more easily. Usually, it is the middle-aged children in the family who are the most emotionally stable.

The first children often turn out to be leaders, activists, social workers, and managers. Among them, for example, George Bush, Oprah Winfrey, Winston Churchill.

Second children in a family more often than usual grow up to be independent specialists, entrepreneurs, and creative workers - all due to the fact that if there are usually three or more children in a family, then the middle children are given more freedom.

The middle children in the family were Donald Trump, Julia Roberts, Jay Leno, Madonna and Britney Spears. They receive the least amount of parental attention.

The youngest children in the family usually turn out to be talented know-it-alls - programmers, lawyers, consultants, psychologists, scientists. The youngest children were Bill Gates, Howard Stern, Gandhi, Cameron Diaz.

Interestingly, experts also say that not only the serial number of the child in the family matters, but also the age difference between him and his brothers and sisters.

Psychologists believe that the optimal difference between several children should be about 3 years. Then children argue least in childhood and form the strongest friendships in adulthood. If this difference is smaller, there will inevitably be rivalry between children.

On the other hand, the greater the age difference between children, the greater the alienation between them. Caused mainly because the older brother will not perceive the younger one as his equal.

The researchers emphasize that their general conclusions apply only to most people, but exceptions to the rules are always possible.

BrandNewDay asked the opinion of a crisis and family psychologist:

In fact, there are certain patterns in the development and formation of the characters of children born in the same family. But, as was rightly said, there are always exceptions.

The most important thing for parents to understand is that no matter how a child is born into a family, he still requires special attention. If a child feels support, understanding, and affection from loved ones, then this lays a solid foundation for the harmonious development of his personality in the future.

The child grows up self-confident, morally stable, trusts the world and people around him. And, conversely, if a child from early childhood does not receive enough parental love and feels “unnecessary,” then in his adult life he will experience certain difficulties

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You've probably heard opinions that the eldest child in the family grows up to be the most responsible, and only children are often selfish and demanding. Is it true that your character and talents can be directly related to what kind of child you are in the family?

Today website I decided to figure out how our character and intelligence are related to birth order and whether they are connected at all.

The theory of this relationship was put forward in the 1920s by Alfred Adler, a colleague and friend of Sigmund Freud. According to Adler, the order in which a child is born in a family is of decisive importance.

• Firstborn (eldest child). According to Adler, the first child is conservative, seeks power and is predisposed to leadership. Accustomed to caring for and protecting his younger ones, he also grows up caring, prone to fatherhood (motherhood) and often takes the initiative into his own hands.
• Second (middle) child. His older brother or sister sets the pace. Often strives to break the records of his elders. The pace of development is higher. Ambitious and not prone to selfishness. He can set unreasonably high goals for himself, which increases the number of failures, although often failures only harden him.
• Last child (youngest). As a rule, he is surrounded by care and attention from all sides. May experience feelings of inferiority and lack of independence. But he is highly motivated to surpass his elders. Often becomes the best in one field of his choice (the best athlete or musician), and also quickly finds a common language with people. Although the younger one can often be more irresponsible and frivolous than older children.
• Only child. He often competes with his father. Usually under the mother's control for too long and expecting the same protection and care from others. The main feature of this lifestyle is dependence on attention and egocentrism. He often has difficulties in relationships with peers. However, one cannot deny his perfectionism, and often, in spite of everything, he achieves his goals.

The theory that birth order influences personality and IQ has become quite popular and has divided scientific opinion. Some completely disagree, while others are convinced that it plays a decisive role in the child's character. Scientists from the University of Leipzig and the Johannes Gutenberg University in Mainz (Germany) conducted the study and studied more than 20,000 adults from the US, Germany and the UK. In this very study, they compared siblings in families and their birth order.

It turned out that older children score higher on intelligence tests, although not as significant. Scientists have found no evidence that birth order affects emotional stability and imagination.

Another study found more evidence that birth order influences personality formation. Scientists analyzed the characters of 370,000 high school students from the United States.

The main conclusions they made: firstborns are more honest and prone to leadership, as well as less sociable and resistant to stress. Middle children are more conscientious and diligent. And the younger ones are open and sociable. Children who were the only ones in the family are often nervous, but at the same time quite sociable and social.

In fact, it is worth recognizing that these studies have a number of inaccuracies, since they do not take into account such important social factors as nationality, education, wealth and family relationships. Yes, birth order has a certain influence on character due to the different conditions in which children find themselves. But we should not forget that the main role is still played by the relationship between parents and child and upbringing, which can be individual for each of the children in the family.

Most people see personality tests as fun, but at the same time they can reveal hidden personality traits. And this one is no exception. There are three silhouettes in front of you. Think about which one of them seems younger to you?

At first glance, they are all about the same age, but take a closer look - perhaps someone will seem younger to you? Who is this?

Child 1

If you chose your first child, then you are a person with a well-developed sixth sense. When making decisions, you often rely on intuition, and it does not let you down.

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Child 2

About half of the respondents think that he is younger than the others. This answer is chosen by people with so-called complex thinking. You come to the answer to the question through long thought, weighing all the pros and cons. But the result is usually worth it.

Child 3

You are used to thinking logically. If there is a problem, then there is something that can solve it. If there is a question, there must be an answer somewhere. You make decisions by listening to reason. But sometimes you should still take your intuition into account.

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How many people, so many opinions. And every person is a complex nature, in which there is rarely a place for only black or only white. It is safe to say that in almost everyone there is an intuitive, a logical, and a complex thinker. Which one prevails in you?

Based on materials:

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Since childhood, many girls love to take various tests and solve riddles. You will be surprised, but this is not so childish, because the answers can really tell a lot! Today we invite you to play psychologists. Look at the picture and try to figure out which child broke the vase? ...

Everything you do in life is influenced by your subconscious. Choices are the consequences of your worldview and development. To better understand yourself, we suggest taking a test. It will help you dig deeper into your inner world and tell you a lot about you. If you don't believe me, check it out! Look carefully at the picture and answer the question: which woman is the mother of the child? Try to justify your choice. ...

Every choice you make can reveal a piece of your character. Sometimes it seems that the question is not serious at all, but your decision can show you from a new side. An observant person can easily create a profile about you simply by analyzing your life preferences. Today we invite you to play a little. Look at the picture and tell me which of these four is the stupidest? ...

Famous people born into a large family

Walter Elias Disney born December 5, 1901 in Chicago into a large family. He was the fourth son of Elias Disney and Flora Col. Two years later, sister Ruth was born.

Proskuryakov Lavr Dmitrievich(August 18 (30), 1858, Borisovka village, Voronezh province - September 14, 1926, Moscow) - Russian scientist, engineer, outstanding specialist in the field of bridge construction and structural mechanics. Born into a large (18 people) peasant family.

Danilov Viktor Alexandrovich born in Achinsk in 1843. His father, a Jew by origin, was baptized with his entire large family (five sons and two daughters). The newly-made Christian took his patronymic and surname in honor of his godfather, Elder Danilo, and began to be called Alexander Danilovitch Danilov. In 1892, Danilov opened a three-year primary school in the factory village. At the same time, all expenses for the establishment and further maintenance of the school were borne by

Pronchishchev Vasily Vasilievich(1702 - August 29 (September 9), 1736) - Russian polar explorer of the Arctic and naval officer. Born in 1702 in the Bogimovo estate, Tarusa district, Kaluga province (12 kilometers from the city of Aleksin) into the noble Pronchishchev family. He was the fifth child in the family. A part of the eastern coast of the Taimyr Peninsula is named in honor of V.V. Pronchishchev - the shore of Pronchishchev, a lake, a cape in eastern Taimyr and the Pronchishchev mountain range between the mouths of the Olenyok and Anabar rivers.

Pallas Peter Simon Peter Simon (Peter-Simon) Pallas (1741-1811) - famous German and Russian encyclopedist, naturalist, geographer and traveler of the 18th - 19th centuries. He became famous for his scientific expeditions across Russia in the second half of the 18th century, and made a significant contribution to world and Russian science - biology, geography, geology, philology and ethnography. Pallas had an older brother and sister. The scientist was elected in 1764 as a member of the Royal Society of London and the Academy in Rome. Pallas was appointed a member of the topographic department of the Russian Empire

Napoleon I Bonaparte
French statesman, commander, emperor in 1804-14 and in March-June 1815. He began serving in the army in 1785 with the rank of junior lieutenant of artillery; came to prominence during the French Revolution.
He came from a poor Corsican noble family of Charles and Letizia Buonaparte (in total there were 5 sons and 3 daughters in the family). Napoleon had a phenomenal memory and efficiency, a sharp mind, a military and state genius, the gift of a diplomat, an artist, and charm, which allowed him to easily win over people. This man, in his unchanging gray frock coat and cocked hat, took a strong place in history, giving his name to an entire era. Napoleon's empire turned out to be fragile. However, the tragic fate of the emperor deeply shocked his contemporaries, including artists, musicians, poets, and provided abundant food for romanticism, which blossomed in European culture in subsequent decades. Napoleon's battles were included in military textbooks. “Napoleonic law” underlies the civil norms of Western democracies. The restored Bourbon monarchy was unable to destroy the results of the Revolution secured by Napoleon.

Author of the periodic table of chemical elements D. Mendeleev was the 17th child in the family. Famous scientists I. Pavlov and I. Mechnikov grew up in families with five children, with Pavlov being the eldest son and Mechnikov the youngest. K. Tsiolkovsky was also the fifth child. He had four older and three younger brothers and sisters. The writer F. Dostoevsky and the composer P. Tchaikovsky each had six brothers and sisters...

Anton Pavlovich Chekhov- Russian writer, playwright, doctor by profession. Third child in the family. In total, A.P. Chekhov had three brothers and a sister

Sir Isaac Newton(English Sir Isaac Newton, December 25, 1642 - March 20, 1727 according to the Julian calendar, which was in force in England until 1752; or January 4, 1643 - March 31, 1727 according to the Gregorian calendar) - English physicist, mathematician and astronomer, one of the creators of classical physics . In addition to Newton, his mother had three more children.

« Mel Gibson was the sixth of eleven children in the family... In addition to success in his professional life, Mel has great success in his personal life: he is happily married to Robin Moore, and their marriage brought seven children. ... He's going to take his kids to eleven and start a football team that's all Gibsons."

Mireille Mathieu-famous French singer from a large family.

Johann Sebastian Bach was the sixth child in the family of violinist Johann Ambrose Bach

French physicist Maria Skłodowska-Curie(née Maria Skłodowska) was born in Warsaw, Poland. She was the youngest of five children in the family of Władysław and Bronisława (Bogushka) Skłodowski.

Tolkien- his wife Edith She bore him three sons and a daughter. Ronald

Musicians, pop artists

Ivan Smirnov(8 children) - guitarist

Svetlana and Vladimir Nor(8 children) - musicians, founders of the string ensemble “Nor Quartet”

Andrey Vinogradov(4 children) - composer, performer

Georgy Vasiliev(5 children) - performer of an original song (in a duet with A. Ivashchenko), author and producer of the musical “Nord-Ost”, entrepreneur

Renat Ibragimov(4 children) - singer, People's Artist of Russia and Tatarstan

Vladimir(4 children) and Sergey(3 children) Kristovskie- musicians of the group “Uma2rmaH”

Vyacheslav Butusov(4 children) - rock musician, ex-leader of the Nautilus group

Konstantin Kinchev(3 children) - rock musician, leader of the group "Alice"

Veronica Dolina(4 children) - performer of an original song

Valeriy Meladze(3 children) - pop singer

Igor Matvienko(3 children) - music producer

Valeria(3 children) - pop singer

Varvara(4 children) - pop singer

Mikhail Bashakov(3 children) - rock musician

Natalya Vodyanova(3 children) - supermodel

Actors and directors

Ivan Okhlobystin(5 children) - priest, director, actor

Nikita Mikhalkov(3 children) - actor and director

Nikolay Burlyaev(5 children) - actor and director, president of the International Film Forum “Golden Knight”

Maria Shukshina(4 children) - TV presenter, actress

Actor Evgeniy Stychkin and pianist Ekaterina Skanavi(3 children)

Actors of the Moscow Russian Drama Theater “Chamber Stage”:

Arkady Averin And Yulia Shchepenko(4 children)

Dmitry Polyakov(4 children)

Alexey Savchenko And Svetlana Yurutkina(5 children)

Writers

Grigory Oster(5 children) - children's writer

Anatoly Pristavkin(3 children) - writer, adviser to the President of Russia

Scientists

Sergey Krivovichev(6 children) - world-famous crystallographer scientist, professor, deacon of the Russian Orthodox Church

Stepan Sulkashin(4 children) - Doctor of Physical, Mathematical and Political Sciences, Director of the Center for Problem Analysis and Public Management Design

Alexander Sinelnikov(3 children) - one of the leading Russian demographers, associate professor of the Department of Sociology of Family and Demography of Moscow State University

Politicians

Igor Shuvalov(3 children) - First Deputy Prime Minister of Russia

Sergey Kiriyenko(3 children) - head of the Federal Atomic Energy Agency of Russia

Sergey Samoilov(3 children) - Advisor to the President of Russia

Boris Gromov(5 children) - general, governor of the Moscow region

Pavel Bordin(5 children, four of them adopted) - Secretary of State of the Union State

Valery Galchenko(5 children) - State Duma deputy

Nikolai Kharitonov(4 children) - State Duma deputy

Sergey Baburin(4 children) - State Duma deputy

Entrepreneurs

Evgeniy Yuryev(6 children) - co-chairman of the all-Russian public organization “Business Russia”, chairman of the Public Council of the Central Federal District

Sergey Shmakov(6 children) - President of the Sapsan construction company

Ilya Yurov(6 children) - Chairman of the Board of Directors of Trust Bank

Sergey Maslov(5 children) - President of JSC AK Transnefteproduct

Andrey Gusarov(4 children) - Chairman of the Board of Directors of FPC Satori LLC

Sergey Vykhodtsev(4 children) - founder of the Bystrov company

Yuri Fedutinov(3 children) - General Director of the radio station “Echo of Moscow”

Athletes

Alexander Karelin(3 children) - multiple world champion in classical wrestling

Stepan Kontoev- freestyle wrestling coach, member of the Council of Fathers of Yakutia, father of three champions: German and Alexander- winners of the world championship in freestyle wrestling, Stas- one of the ten best checkers players in the world.

Vladimir Shestakov(3 children) - head coach of the Russian Olympic judo team

Anfisa Reztsova(3 children) - three-time Olympic champion in biathlon

Konstantin Tszyu(3 children) - world boxing champion

Vitaliy Klichko(Ukraine) (3 children) - world boxing champion

Foreign:

Actors and directors

Charles Spencer Chaplin(10 children, eight of them in the last, successful marriage)

Eddie Murphy(6 children)

Arnold Schwarzenegger(4 children)

Steven Spielberg(4 own + 3 adopted)

Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie(3 own + 3 adopted)

Andy Garcia(5 children)

Julia Roberts(3 children)

Musicians

Vladimir Ashkenazy(5 children) - pianist, conductor

Paul McCartney(4 children)

Chris Norman(5 children) - ex-vocalist of the group “Smokie”

From the press: " Chris Norman For almost four decades he has been inseparable from his first and only wife Linda. That blond girl from the audience with whom Chris accidentally met eyes while standing on stage in 1967 at one of the very first concerts of his group in a small Scottish town. Now this couple has five adult children and a granddaughter.”

Sting(6 children, four of them in second marriage)

Adriano Celentano(3 children)

Athletes

Shaquille O'Neal(4 own + 1 adopted) - American basketball player

Zinedine Zidane(3 children) - French football player

David Beckham(3 children) - English footballer

Politicians

Tony Blair(4 children) - Prime Minister of Great Britain

Ursula von der Leyen(7 children) - Minister for Family Affairs, Elderly Affairs, Women and Youth (Germany)

Doctors

William And Martha Serz(Sears) (8 children) - American pediatricians, authors of world-famous books on pregnancy and newborn care

Businessmen

Bill Gates(3 children) - founder of Microsoft Corporation

Celine Dion- the youngest of fourteen children in the family.
Elizabeth Taylor- three of our own and one adopted child.

Brothers Dean and Dan- founders of the DSquared2 brand (the twins are the ninth and tenth in a row).
In their homeland - Canada - they are revered as national heroes

Blake Lively is an American film actress, best known for her role as Serena van der Woodsen in the teen television series Gossip Girl. Blake is the fifth child in the family; her parents are actors Ernie Lively and Elaine Lively. Blake has two sisters, Lori and Robin, and two brothers, Jason and Eric. Her entire family is in the entertainment industry.

Brad Pitt- American actor and producer. Winner of the Golden Globe Award for 1995 (“Twelve Monkeys”), twice nominated for an Oscar. - brother Doug Pitt and sister Julia Pitt

Gerard Butler- Scottish film actor, best known for his work in the films “The Phantom of the Opera”, “300” and “Rock and Rolla”. Gerard became the third child of Margaret (née Hunton) and Edward Butler (he has a brother and a sister).

John Christopher "Johnny" Depp II- famous American actor, director, screenwriter and producer. He is best known for his roles in Tim Burton's films, as well as for his role as Captain Jack Sparrow in the Pirates of the Caribbean films. Depp was born in Owensboro, Kentucky, USA. His father, John Christopher Depp Sr., worked as a city engineer, and his mother, Betty Sue Palmer, was a waitress. He has two sisters, Debbie and Christy, and a brother, Daniel.

Kate Winslet- a popular British actress who was nominated for an Oscar 6 times. Winner of two BAFTA awards (1996 and 2009), an Oscar for leading role (2009), and two Golden Globe awards. The most famous films with her participation are “Sense and Sensibility” (1995), “Titanic” (1997), “Iris” (2001), “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” (2004), “The Reader” (2008), “Revolutionary Road” "(2008). Kate Winslet was born on October 5, 1975 in Reading, Berkshire, to Roger Winslet and Sally Bridges. Both of them worked as actors (however, they did not reach heights in their careers, and in the intervals between roles they were forced to earn extra money) - this profession was a hereditary craft in their family. Their two other daughters, Beth Winslet and Anna Winslet, also became actresses, although much less successful than Kate.

Keanu Reeves- Canadian-American film actor and musician (bass player). He is best known for his role as Neo in The Matrix film trilogy. In addition, in the 1990s he was a bass player in the group Dogstar, and in the early 2000s in the group Becky. Reeves has three sisters: Kim Reeves (b. 1966, Beirut, Lebanon), Karina Miller (b. 1976, Toronto, Canada) and Emma Rose Reeves (b. 1980, Hawaii). Kim Reeves is an actress who also raised horses.

Katie Holmes- American film and television actress. She was the youngest, fifth child in the family. She has three sisters and a brother.

Katy Perry- American singer and composer. The middle child in the family.

Ryan Rodney Reynolds- Canadian film and television actor. The youngest of four brothers.

Hugh Michael Jackman- Australian television and film actor, producer, known to the general public for his role as the mutant superhero Wolverine in the X-Men tetralogy, winner of the Tony Theater Award (2004) and the Emmy Television Award (2005). In the family he was the youngest of five children.

D. I. Mendeleev- was the last, seventeenth child in the family.

A great example of having many children: The Kelly Family Group (
U Daniela Kelly-the father had only 12 children (4 from his first marriage and 8 from his second), all musical and gifted. In the 1970s they formed a group and began performing. At first it was street performances; the family lived poorly and performed on the street. But they continued to give birth to children, continued to perform. By the end of the 80s, they became popular, filled stadiums with thousands of people, their discs went platinum, and their career declined in 2002-2005. Some continue to perform and are quite popular in Europe (younger, Angelo, For example). They play on average 7-10 music. instruments ( Patrick in 13), sing in 4 languages ​​( Patricia communicates fluently in 7), draw (y Barbie gallery), making a movie ( Jim has special education, he shot almost all the group’s videos).
Their mother (2 wife Daniela) fell ill with cancer, which she found out about during her pregnancy with her last child. She refused treatment because it would kill the child. She died when the baby was only 7 months old. Dying, she asked the children to continue singing.
In memory of their mother, many of the children themselves now have many children.
Jim- (jazz musician) - 2 children
Joseph(athlete, face of a sports company in Germany) - 3 children, expecting 4.
Patricia- (goodwill ambassador, jazz singer, married to a Russian, Orthodox(!) - mother of 3
Mayte- Goodwill Ambassador for Africa, mother of 3
Patrick- Catholic monk
Angelo(the same one, the youngest) - musician, producer, father of 4, expecting 5 children.

The amazing family ensemble “Good News” turns 20 this year. We are publishing material from the magazine “Hieroglyph”, published in October 2010.

First, listeners are surprised that nine siblings are standing and singing on stage, then that such a small ensemble sings like a large academic choir, then that the group also has soloists, and finally, what is in the repertoire they have more than four hundred works of various eras and styles. This family is already accustomed to surprising. The components of success - so they believe - are innate musicality, hard work, and trying to increase what is given by God.

Sandor Ferenczi(Sandor Ferenczi) was born on July 7, 1873 in the provincial town of Miskolc in northern Hungary. Parents were Jews, immigrants from Poland. He was the fifth child in a family of eleven boys and girls. In 1897, Ferenczi took the post of chief neurologist in the neurological-psychiatric department at the St. Elizabeth Asylum for the Poor. In 1904, he became the head of the neurological outpatient clinic at the General Clinical Hospital of Budapest. By 1905, Ferenczi had gained sufficient fame to be appointed as an expert psychiatrist at the royal court, and for a quarter of a century he was Freud's closest friend.

Olga Kobylyanskaya

Born Olga Yulianovna Kobylyanskaya November 27, 1863 in the town of Gura-Humora in Southern Bukovina in the large family of a minor government official. Olga Kobilyanska I started writing poems and keeping a diary in German. To the native people Olga Kobylyanskaya gave “the song of the heart and the music of the soul”

Fedor Dostoevsky
great Russian writer
November 11, 1821 – February 9, 1881
Fedor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky born on November 11, 1821 in Moscow into a large family of a military medic

BULGAKOV Mikhail Afanasyevich

(3(15).05.1891-10.03. 1940), writer, playwright. Born in Kyiv into a large family of a professor at the Kyiv Theological Academy.

Tommy Hilfiger

The birth of the brand occurred in 1985. It was represented by a line of men's clothing. The founder of the brand, Tommy Hilfiger, was born in the small American town of Elmira into a large family. His whole life's dream was to create practical and fashionable clothes for all people of our time. He named his first chain of stores “People’s Place”. He began his activity by developing unique elements for classic men's clothing, thus changing the main details and giving strict classics a modern look.
Tommy Hilfiger, the founder of the company, is one of the four most famous designers in America, along with Calvin Klein, Ralph Lauren and Donna Karan. Many famous people, such as former American President Bill Clinton, actor Hugh Grant, David Bowie, pop divas Gwen Stefani and Beyoncé, often appear in public wearing models from the Tommy Hilfiger fashion house. The main directions of the brand: clothing, shoes and accessories in Casual, Fashion, Sport, Classic styles for all ages.

Alexander Stepanovich Popov entered the history of science, technology and world culture as the inventor of the radiotelegraph. He was born on March 16, 1859 at the Bogoslovsky plant in the Urals, where his father was a priest. Of the six children who made up the Popov family, Alexander was the third. A certain future awaited the sons of a poor priest: service as a deacon or priest in one of the parishes of their diocese, often in their father’s parish. But from a very young age, Alexander began to show completely different inclinations and interests. His childhood games and activities set him apart sharply from his circle of peers who were interested in grandmothers, playing ball and other common games for boys. Instead, he preferred to build working models of water wheels, mills, and various types of moving mechanisms. The skillfully made cars aroused surprise not only among peers, but also among adults.

(born 1958 - died 2009)

World famous American pop and rock singer, composer, dancer, actor. Owner of the record company A TV Music. Multiple Grammy Award winner, holder of the title “Star of the Past Century”. Author and performer of several albums that went down in the history of pop music with record sales.

Michael Joseph Jackson became a star at an age when most children are still learning the art of tying their shoes. After 40 years, he has achieved astonishing commercial and creative heights and universal recognition of his musical genius. In many ways, however, the singer became a victim of his own success. To put it another way, the multimillion-dollar sales of his latest albums are second in popularity to gossip columns and police reports about scandals involving a popular singer. The future king of pop music was born on August 29, 1958 in the town of Gary, Indiana, into a large family of a crane operator and a cashier. Michael and his eight older siblings were the main reason for mother Catherine Scruse's life.

Pushkin A.S., although at that time 4 children was hardly considered “many”

leader of the football team that distinguished itself at EURO 2008 Sergey Semak.He has four brothers.

Biathlete Olga Zaitseva-their three sisters

Astrid Lindgren, second child in family,only four.

Kalnins Ivar Edmundovich born on August 1, 1948 in Riga in large family family

Vladimir Ivanovich Kastorsky(1870-1948), opera artist (bass), chamber singer, teacher, born in the Bolshiye Soli settlement, Kostroma province (now the village of Nekrasovskoye, Yaroslavl region) in large family family village priest.

Nikolay Starshinov belongs to the generation whose youth fell on the difficult war years. He was born in Moscow, in Zamoskvorechye. IN large family family he was the youngest, the eighth child. Parents, who themselves were unable to receive a full education, made every effort to ensure that their children grew up as educated people. IN family The Starshinovs had many books, and Nikolai already knew Russian classics well as a teenager. At the age of 12 he began writing poetry. Soon the young poet began studying in a literary studio, where he met his future wife, Yulia Drunina.

In 1941, Nikolai Starshinov was drafted into the army: first to the infantry school, and then, in 1943, to the front.

And at the age of seventeen
I joined the soldier's ranks...
All overcoats are gray,
Everyone has the same cut...

...Go in the heat, go in the snowstorm.
Well, is it too much for you?..
There is no word “can’t” here
And even worse - “I don’t want”

Aksakov Ivan Sergeevich(1823, village of Nadezhino (Kuroedovo), Orenburg province - 1886, Moscow) - publicist, publisher, editor, Slavophile.

Was born in large family family writer Sergei Timofeevich Aksakov - the famous author of "Family Chronicle". In 1826 - 1838 he lived in Moscow, in his hospitable father's house, where famous writers and scientists visited.

Man of the 20th century Mikhail Kalashnikov was born in family, who was not afraid to give birth to 19 children.

Guus Hiddink
Since the summer of 2006, head coach of the Russian national football team.
Born November 8, 1946 in Varseveld (Netherlands)
"Children in family Gerrit and Jo Hiddink (Gus's parents) are six. And all the boys: Wim, Hans, Gus, Arnold, Rene and Karel. Now they do not miss the opportunity to make a kind joke about their father: they say, being a football fan (Gerrit himself played until he was 43 years, and judged until I was in my ninth decade), I decided to create my own team."

Olga Mikhailovna Ostroumova, was born in the city of Buguruslan, Orenburg region. In 1966 she entered GITIS. She started acting in films while still a student. Her debut role was as tenth-grader Rita in Stanislav Rostotsky’s film “We’ll Live Until Monday.” She was an actress at the Moscow Youth Theater and the Theater on Malaya Bronnaya. Currently serving at the Theatre. Mossovet. For her roles in films she was awarded the A.P. Dovzhenko Gold Medal (1978) and the USSR State Prize (1979). For theatrical works - the International Stanislavsky Prize (Emma in the play "Madame Bovary"), the prize of the newspaper "Moskovsky Komsomolets" (Claudia in the play "Silver Age"). Knight of the Order of Merit for the Fatherland, IV degree, Order of Honor and Valor, Order of the Badge of Honor, public orders. She raised her daughter and son, the grandmother of her grandson Zakhar and granddaughter Polina. Married to artist Valentin Gaft. People's Artist of the RSFSR (1993).
"There were four of us at our parents..."

Robertino Loretti
Italian singer. The most famous songs performed by him: “Jamaica”, “My Sun” (O sole mio), “Ave Maria”...
Born October 22, 1947 in Rome, in family with 8 children

American abstract artist Mark Rothko(Rothko Mark, real name and surname - Markus Yakovlevich Rotkovich) was born on September 25, 1903 in Dvinsk (now Daugavpils, Latvia) in a large family of a pharmacist.

Born on February 28, 1932 in the town of Enakievo, Donetsk region. He spent his childhood in the city of Slavyansk. In the large large family of the Bogatikovs, they always loved song. The father sang and the children sang along with him. And Yuri Iosifovich himself always said that he sang “since kindergarten.” Since 1974, Yuri Bogatikov has been a soloist of the Crimean State Philharmonic.

Khaimovna Roydman) was born in 1890 in the Volyn province. Her father was a melamed teacher at a Jewish religious primary school. Sam I was having many children oh - Fanny had three sisters and four brothers. During the revolution of 1905, F. Kaplan joined the anarchists in the revolutionary...

Movements in Crimea during the Civil and Great Patriotic War. Born on June 21, 1887 in the village of Ponyri, Kursk province in having many children oh peasant seven ye. Since the beginning of the Great Patriotic War, Alexey Vasilyevich Mokrousov was appointed commander of the Crimean partisan movement...

Sidor Kovpak

In the most critical periods of its history, our people have always brought forward from their depths majestic figures who stood up to defend their native land, uniting around the fearless patriots of the Fatherland. One of these folk heroes was Sidor Kovpak, a peasant son who, having gone through the First Imperialist and Civil Wars, became the first partisan general of the Great Patriotic War. Exactly Sidor Kovpak was destined to be one of the pioneers of the partisan struggle on the Ukrainian land burned and devastated by the occupiers, but not conquered.

Was born Sidor Artemovich Kovpak May 25, 1887 in the village. Kotelva in the Poltava region in a large poor family of eleven souls. From ten years old Sidor Kovpak worked as a laborer for a kulak. In 1914 he was mobilized into the army. When the First World War began, he fought bravely at the front, became a scout, and was awarded military awards for his courage. Subsequently, under the influence of revolutionary ideas Sidor Kovpak is already taking part in the civil war. He had to fight on various fronts as part of the famous 25th Chapaev Division.

Abramov Fedor Alexandrovich

Born February 29, 1920, Verkola village, Pinezhsky district, Arkhangelsk province - May 14, 1983, Leningrad. Russian Soviet writer. One of the most famous representatives of the so-called “village prose”, a significant trend in Soviet literature of the 1960-1980s.

Abramov was born into a large family of an Old Believer peasant. When he was 2 years old, his father died. Participant of the Great Patriotic War. From his third year at Leningrad University he volunteered for the front, but due to injury he was in Leningrad, and was subsequently evacuated across the ice of Lake Ladoga.

Graduated from the Philological Faculty of Leningrad State University (1948). In 1951 he defended his PhD thesis on the works of M. A. Sholokhov. In 1951-1960 was a senior teacher, then an associate professor and head of the department of Soviet literature at Leningrad State University.

Awarded the Order of the Patriotic War, 2nd degree and medals.

He was buried in the village of Verkola on the right bank of the Pinega River; on the left bank is the Artemiyevo-Verkolsky Monastery, the restoration of which Abramov was preoccupied with at the end of his life.

On May 15, 160 years ago, a wonderful Russian artist was born Viktor Mikhailovich Vasnetsov. Such famous paintings as “Alyonushka” (1881), “Bogatyrs” (1881-98), “Tsar Ivan Vasilyevich the Terrible” (1897) belong to this outstanding painter. On Vasnetsov’s canvases, the legends and myths of ancient Rus' acquire almost historical authenticity. “I think I will not be mistaken when I say that the fairy tales and stories of wandering people made me fall in love with the present and past of my people for the rest of my life. In many ways, they determined my path and gave direction to my future activities,” Vasnetsov wrote about his work. And this is an indicator of a truly great work.

Sergey Penkin

His career began in the Penza House of Pioneers, where the young talent sang with all his heart: “At noon, the cuckoos gathered at the edge of the forest. Ku-ku! La-la-la!..” But his further fate was not at all as simple as the words of this children’s songs.

"I hate pop music!"

Sergei was born in Penza into a large family.

For some reason, many great people, as a rule, began their life journey with hardships and difficulties. There is some pattern in the fact that it is they, driven by the desire to break out of the seemingly vicious circle of poverty, who make significant world discoveries. So this girl, born into a large poor family in 1883 and living for some time in an orphanage in a Catholic monastery, was destined to conquer the world.

The nickname “Coco,” given to her in the cabaret where she worked part-time, became iconic and completely changed her life and the whole world as a whole. It was she who first began to sew women's dresses from jersey, it was she who put trousers on the fair sex and exposed their ankles. It was Coco Chanel who cut off her chic braids and proudly appeared in public with a very short haircut. A little black dress, as a sign of mourning for a loved one, hats and handbags - all this is her, Coco Chanel.

Vladimir Kladievich Arsenyev

It is difficult to name Arsenyev’s “main” profession - military man, traveler-naturalist, topographer, geographer, archaeologist, ethnographer, geologist, ichthyologist, ornithologist, entomologist, hydrographer, meteorologist, writer... Everywhere he worked hard and left his mark. At first there were travels, then scientific works at the intersection of many sciences, which only giants of N.M. Przhevalsky’s level could do. and Miklouho-Maclay N.N. And as a conclusion - literary works, which not only opened up the local history and geographical direction in Russian literature, but also became an unattainable bar.

How much did one do? Vladimir Kladievich Arsenyev, it’s unlikely that the whole institute can handle it. And all sciences are not “assay tests”. And the object is serious - the Far East. And the results are grandiose: the relief of Primorye was described, the Sikhote-Alin mountain system was examined, the life and customs of the indigenous population were studied, the sources of large rivers were found and their hydrography was carried out, the flora and fauna of the region were studied. With such a wealth of scientific knowledge and discoveries, sit down and write - a bestseller will come out. And the scientist also had a unique gift for writing. 62 scientific, popular science and literary works, including five timeless books: "

How not to go crazy with three children

Sometimes childless and small-children friends who drop by for tea and pies ask: “Tell me, how do you manage to do this? Three children, a lot of work, laurels of Turkish housewives (this means daily cleaning and washing of floors and common areas), and you also have time to bake pies every day! How are you still alive today?”

I’m sharing the recipe for free: I don’t know.

I don’t know when I manage to do everything, and how I manage not to go crazy. And what’s interesting is that I remember very well those blessed times when I had one child. Peaceful, surprisingly calm Konstantin did not let me do anything. I didn’t have time to do anything, ate instant Chinese noodles, washed the floors once a week and quietly went crazy from the hopelessness of what was happening.

Sometimes, completely desperate, I went with the child to my grandmother, and the two of us could no longer manage to do anything. And this was my calmest son, who did not require to be constantly carried in arms, who slept like an angel both day and night, who did not suffer from nightmares or infantile intestinal colic.

Looking back, I understand that it was much harder for me then than now, when I have three children - 14, 13 and 3 years old, respectively.

Years passed. More precisely, only 1.5 years passed, and I had two children. Enriched by my beautiful boy Temochka, I drank to the full the joys of motherhood: from 6 to 9 in the evening the child suffered from colic, did not leave my arms until 7 months inclusive, sobbed at night and picked up viruses of unknown origin from neighbors sneezing behind the wall from the other entrance.

But what’s strange is that even with such a “problem” child, I had time for cooking, cleaning, washing baby diapers by hand with grated laundry soap, and even for my personal life.

But in terms of creating hemorrhoids per capita, no one has surpassed my marvelous youngest son Andryushka. This is a scary man! Until he was 2.5 years old, he believed that sleeping at night was a setup invented by loving parents solely for the purpose of building various kinds of intrigues and conspiracies against him, his beloved. Therefore, until the age of 2.5 years, the child entertained us and himself by waking up at about 3 o'clock in the morning for one sole purpose - to sing.

It sang loudly, boomingly and loudly. The melody of the songs performed clearly included “Bandera Rossa”, “La Marseillaise” and “Bella Ciao”. Maybe there was “Internationale” too, but we didn’t catch it?

By this time, the eldest sons had already grown up considerably, therefore, on the one hand, some household chores or fussing with the baby could very partially be transferred to them, which, by the way, they did very willingly, since they did not feel a “competitor” in him. Rather, they perceived him as a living toy, like a puppy or kitten: so funny, touching.

On the other hand, can you imagine how teenagers eat during puberty? No? I'll tell you now. They don't even eat. They are sweeping. For example, the eldest son (12 years old) comes home from school and says: “Mother, I had lunch at school. Do we have anything to eat?” Next - on the lighter side - a couple of plates of borscht, navy-style pasta and one and a half liters of milk with some kind of pie or bun.

Therefore, you have to cook every day: you cook a big pot of soup, stew potatoes with meat, bake pies with cabbage - well, wow, you don’t have to go near the stove for a couple of days. But no! And by the evening, the saucepan is shining with pristine cleanliness, the frying pan keeps her company, and on the plate lies a lonely, lonely pie, left to the mother by caring children. “There’s a sponge hanging on a stake, let’s start all over again!” (With)

Among other things, in my house there are only men who are genetically unable to maintain cleanliness. Well, they don't know how to do this. They might be happy, but genetics don’t allow it. Therefore, having read on the Internet about how Turkish housewives shake all beds every day, wash floors and common areas, wash ovens, hoods and kitchen cabinets every other day, go through wardrobes once a week and brush dust from balconies, I immediately felt ashamed . The laurels of Turkish housewives beat against my chest like the ashes of Klaas. True, to my shame, I stopped at daily cleaning of floors and common areas, but I do it every day. Like Our Father. Not counting the top-to-bottom cleaning, collecting socks of varying degrees of wear and tearing out a lot of interesting things from various places not intended for this.

I don't have a nanny. And there is no housekeeper either. Because six months of paying for some nanny means that the children and I are left without a summer trip somewhere to the sea. I can't do this. That's why I do everything myself. I don’t know when. I can't imagine. I have the same 24 hours in a day as I did 10-12 years ago, but now I manage to do much more in a day than when I was the mother of only one child.

Pondering this article, I came to the conclusion that all the “lifesavers for a mother of many children” can be combined into four points. Of course, everything stated below is exclusively my IMHO, I do not pretend to be the ultimate truth. So.

Firstly, a child at any age is not a helpless disabled person. He can fetch the pot himself, put his plate in the sink, and give his little brother a lost pacifier. It would seem like little things, but remember that a penny saves a ruble.

It's little things like these that save time. And when the children are already adults, and the husband, in fact, is also already a big boy, they can be entrusted with a lot. But at the same time, it is important to keep a fine line between helping your mother and enslaving her.

A child, no matter what size he is in the family, should have a full-fledged childhood. Therefore, in my opinion, he should have a clearly defined range of responsibilities, such as taking out the trash can in the evening, going to the store once a week, walking with the baby for an hour on Saturday, and the rest of the time is his. Inviolable, except, of course, for some force majeure circumstances.

Secondly, household appliances are our everything. To some, a bread machine and a dishwasher may seem like a luxury. A washing machine, thank God, in my opinion, no longer seems like a luxury to anyone. But these devices help save a lot of time. So I go about my business: I walk with my child, I check my older sons’ homework, I knit a sweater or work with the baby, and good machines will wash the dishes for me, wash my clothes, and knead the dough. Realistically - 1.5 hours, and you can make pies.

And thirdly, “the eggs discipline the chicken.” It is impossible to teach a woman how to properly manage her time. This is very individual and comes with experience. Any tasks seem to be divided by themselves into main and secondary ones. Plus, of course, when the child is alone, a lot of energy, time and nerves are spent on all sorts of unconstructive worries: “Did I swaddle him correctly? Isn't he hot? Isn't it cold? And he has a fever - what a nightmare! Where to run, what to grab onto?”

But when we already have experience, all actions are worked out to the point of automatism: we know at the subconscious level what and how to do at the moment, and do not waste time on mental torment.

And last, but not least: any child should know that mom is also a person, and not just an appendage to the kitchen stove and Yandex-there-is-everything. And this same mother also has the right to personal time.

And when my children understood this, everything in my life fell into place. I wish the same for you..

How do children of the same parents, living in the same house, grow up so different? The main reason may be their birth order. Many experts believe that a child's hobbies, the grades he gets in school, and the success of his future career are closely intertwined with the place he occupies in the family. Of course, birth order is not the only factor that determines how a baby will grow up. But if you take it into account, it will help you better understand your children's personalities - so you can help them succeed, each in their own way.

Where do the roots come from?

The first to speak about the influence of the order in which a child appears in a family on the formation of his personality was the English anthropologist Francis Galton at the end of the 19th century. And already at the beginning of the 20th century, Alfred Adler, an Austrian psychologist, formulated the theory of “ordinal positions,” stating that birth order and the presence or absence of brothers and sisters largely determine character. In the 1970s, Dutch psychologists Lilian Belmont and Francis Marolla put forward another theory: the more older siblings a child has, the lower his intellectual abilities. However, practicing psychologists have not confirmed the dependence of IQ level on birth order.

Let's see exactly how a child's character develops depending on the order in which he appears in the family:

FIRST BORN:
Success

AVERAGE:
Independence

JR:
Carelessness

THE ONLY ONE:
Selfishness

FIRST CHILD: success and responsibility

Famous firstborns: Zac Efron, Beyoncé Knowles, Hillary Clinton, Nicole Kidman, Steffi Graf, Katharine Hepburn, Clint Eastwood, Winston Churchill, Adolf Hitler, Boris Yeltsin.

Strengths As a rule, with an older child, young mothers and fathers try out educational systems (copied from their parents or their own), expecting maximum returns and results. He is enrolled in schools, sections, etc. They boast about it. Constantly monitored. Such a child grows up with a high sense of duty, motivation for achievement (for success), as well as teaching abilities (if there are younger children in the family).

As a rule, parents spend a lot of time with their firstborns, reading and telling them things. But when younger children appear, this can be done less often. Perhaps this undivided attention also explains the fact that elders achieve so much in life. They tend to be better educated and earn more (compared to their younger siblings, firstborns are much more likely to achieve income levels of more than $100,000 a year, according to a study by US website CareerBuilder.com).

In addition, they grow into responsible adults. They are good at negotiating because in childhood they gained a lot of experience interacting with both elders (parents and grandparents) and younger ones (brothers and sisters).

Characteristic difficulties Surrounded by parental care, the first-born child gets used to being the “center of the universe.” If suddenly the attitude of the environment towards him changes, for example, due to the appearance of a second child in the family, the habit requires an urgent search for ways to restore status. Feeling the parents' insecurity, the child acquires another habit - relying on his own opinion. He begins to realize that now he is no longer the most important, the “throne” has to be shared with someone. Agree, adult life is full of similar situations; a lesson learned in childhood will certainly prove useful in the future.

It often happens that firstborns have a lot of responsibility, such as housework or looking after younger ones, and they often readily take on these responsibilities, trying to be perfect. But don't overdo it: a child should not become a small adult. Entrust him with some feasible tasks that he will do with pleasure, but nothing more.

Features of education Firstborns often receive praise for their successes, but they also need to know that it's okay if they don't succeed at everything. So tell your seniors about the time you weren't hired on the cheerleading team or fired from your first job - about any situation in which you tried to do something but it didn't work out the way you planned. Be sure to emphasize that everything turned out well in the end and you learned from your mistakes. This way you will convince your child that making a few mistakes of your own is not at all scary and even useful. Also remember: while the eldest child is small, he needs to be praised more. But not for success, but for something else, not related to the topic of achievements. And one more thing: do not blame the elder for the fact that the younger one spilled or spoiled something - this is not his responsibility.

The first ones are the most successful!

Studies of American biographies show that first-born children achieve success in life twice as often as their brothers and sisters. There are many first-born children among American congressmen; older children predominate in the cohort of US presidents and among women who have achieved scientific degrees. 80% of leaders in the world are eldest and only children.

FIRST BORN:
Success

AVERAGE:
Independence

JR:
Carelessness

THE ONLY ONE:
Selfishness

MIDDLE CHILD: the golden mean

Famous middle children: Anne Hathaway, Owen Wilson, Julia Roberts, Ted Kennedy, Donald Trump, Rosie 0" Donnell, Kim Basinger, Mikhail Gorbachev, Vladimir Lenin, Gustave Flaubert.

Strengths The Austrian psychologist and psychiatrist, one of the predecessors of neo-Freudianism, Alfred Adler, said that the “middle man” is difficult to describe, since he can combine the features of an older and a younger person, since he manages to be in both roles. It often happens that the middle child “gets lost” from the parents who are helping, for example, the older one with his studies or caring for the little one. Therefore, he fights for his place in the sun and must “jump high” to be noticed. However, this position also provides bonuses: the development of socialization skills, diplomacy, and the formation of a peacemaker position that is attractive to others. The average person, communicating simultaneously with different social groups (adults and children), immediately reaches the most “correct” level. Because they receive less attention at home, averages develop strong bonds with friends and are less attached to family.

According to statistics, 70% of average children around the world begin an independent life immediately after school. After the loss of their parents, they take over their functions and organize a business, employing all relatives.

Characteristic difficulties He is neither the firstborn nor the youngest. Not only does he not have the power and privilege of the oldest child, but he is not pampered and loved like a new baby. They feel like their wants and needs are being ignored. And their complaints are justified: a survey conducted by the US website TheBabyWebsite.com found that a third of parents raising three children admitted that they spend less time with their middle child than with the other two.

Features of education Middle children are more sensitive than older children. They must be taught to evaluate themselves not in comparison with their elders or younger ones, but in comparison with themselves yesterday (they couldn’t do it before, but now they have learned). You should also always make sure that the middle child has his own space - his own toys, books, his own treasures. Find ways to put him in the spotlight. Even the offer to independently choose a restaurant or a movie that the whole family will go to is of great importance to them.

FIRST BORN:
Success

AVERAGE:
Independence

JR:
Carelessness

THE ONLY ONE:
Selfishness

YOUNGER CHILD: favorite and cunning

Famous younger children: Cameron Diaz, Prince Harry, Blake Lively, Howard Stern, Bill Gates, Jodie Foster, Danny DeVito, Bernard Shaw, Elizabeth Taylor.

Strengths The youngest child is born at a different period in the life of the parents - this is a child for the soul. He is optimistic and carefree. Younger children are often pampered, forgiven and protected from all the hardships of life. He gets used to receiving support from others and often becomes the life of the party. He is more free and open to unusual experiences and takes risks more easily than older brothers and sisters. They usually grow up to be artists, scientists who “turned the world upside down” with their discoveries, and revolutionaries.

Characteristic difficulties Younger ones are excellent manipulators. They lack perseverance. It is difficult for them to make their own decisions, so their career achievements are often “lame”. This is also facilitated by the younger ones’ conviction that they “should be helped.”

Features of education It is important from a very early age to give the younger one his own area of ​​responsibility. Even a two-year-old child can put away his toys or feed the fish. This will give him a sense of importance and maturity, and teach him to take responsibility. If possible, try to send your youngest child to a development group or club where he will be the eldest. This will help him learn to communicate with people not only from the position of being small and looked after.

FIRST BORN:
Success

AVERAGE:
Independence

JR:
Carelessness

THE ONLY ONE:
Selfishness

ONLY CHILD: reluctantly selfish

Famous only children: Nancy Reagan, Chelsea Clinton, Jennifer Aniston, Oprah Winfrey.

Strengths On the one hand, only children are more self-centered, and on the other hand, they have greater potential. An only child can show both conservatism and obstinacy. He either fully accepts all the values ​​of his parents, or rebels against them. He rarely sticks to the middle. At the same time, most of these children become leaders; they have similar traits to first-born children. They are ambitious and know how to clearly express what they want. Since much is usually expected of them, they tend to achieve good heights in their careers.

Characteristic difficulties It is more difficult for only children to consider the needs of other people. They run the risk of remaining dependent on support and approval forever. It is more difficult for them to start relationships due to the fact that they do not have experience interacting as a couple. Therefore, many only children, already as adults, are strongly attached to their parents and lead a lonely lifestyle. As for relationships in couples, many people look for the traits of a caring dad or mom in their partner. Therefore, it is best when the only child marries the eldest. The worst relationship is with another only child, because both expect the other to replace his dad or mom.

Features of education Only children are more sensitive to their parents' rules and expectations than others. They tend to measure themselves by adult standards because there are no other children to compare themselves to. They feel more comfortable in the company of adults. The downside to this is that an only child may have difficulty communicating with peers. Therefore, make sure that from early childhood he spends more time with peers. Take him to the playground, enroll him in a sports section, organize some other joint activity so that he communicates with other children as much as possible.

FIRST BORN:
Success

AVERAGE:
Independence

JR:
Carelessness

THE ONLY ONE:
Selfishness

There is a fashion for the number of children - no matter how strange it may sound. At the beginning of the 20th century, a family with one child was rare. Half a century later, a family with two children has become a familiar picture. In the heady 90s, few parents decided to have more than one child. And three offspring is heroism! The turbulent years smoothly turned into stable ones, although at times crisis ones. True, for some reason it confuses me: why? How did this happen? What guided the husband and wife when they had “so many” children?..

According to experienced parents, psychologists, and teachers, the biggest revolution in family relationships is made by the birth of the first child: the difference between zero and one in this matter is huge, one might even say fundamental. Whole life changes: not only is there a shake-up in everyday life (lack of sleep, diapers, rompers, walks, children's clinics), but also a change in priorities - older family members have to take into account the interests of the “newcomer” and sometimes sacrifice their own.

With a second child, experience certainly helps, and yet the appearance of a younger child in the family raises a wave of new concerns and difficult questions. Redistribution of parents' attention, division of toys and children's property, jealousy, disorder in the apartment. For the firstborn, the birth of a brother or sister is also a test: he has ceased to be the center of the universe. And yet, a brother or sister is for life. He or she will be your support and support when your parents are gone, your best friend who knows what kind of person you really are.

Mothers with many children unanimously declare: the appearance of a third child in the family does not fundamentally change anything in it. Life has long been restructured to suit the needs of children; by the time the third is born, the “childfree” lifestyle with nightclubs and endless parties, as a rule, is long gone. There are enough things (clothes, shoes, toys); Parental experience is also enough not to frequent pediatricians because of banal colds and scratches.

Of course, the appearance of a third person brings certain specifics to the life of the family:

• the middle child becomes - the time has come for him to feel jealousy, and mom and dad are no longer as concerned about this problem as they were at the birth of the second;
• you will have to think about whether it will fit in your family car;
• the youngest baby, and the older ones already need to take the children to clubs and sections, we have to develop non-standard approaches to time management.

Of course, a lot depends on the age difference between the children - the greater it is, the easier it is for parents to cope purely physically. But even with a small difference (2-3 years), sooner or later parents of three discover that two (and then three) can solve many issues on their own. In general, life is getting better. True, this does not happen overnight...

Why do people give birth to a third child?

Mothers of three children often note that others are ready to suspect them of any kind of “crime” due to the appearance of a third child in the family. Speculations arise about an unplanned pregnancy, medical conditions, a desire to give birth to a third child for a new husband, an attempt to “shake out” benefits from the state (an apartment, a plot of land, etc.). For some reason, people are not ready to accept the simple idea that a child can be born not for any purpose, but simply to love him.

By the way, what benefits are we talking about?

According to Russian legislation, families with three or more children, including adopted children, those under guardianship (trusteeship) and those under the age of 18 (if they undergo training, the age increases) are classified as large families. The state really expresses its readiness to help large families - they are entitled to various rights and benefits: discounts for the use of utilities, free travel for children on city public transport and a discount on travel on intercity transport, free meals for children in educational institutions, priority admission to schools and provision of vouchers to sanatoriums, etc.

Parents who decide to have three or more children are provided with garden plots and are given the right to flexible forms of employment (for example, part-time work), priority training or retraining. According to the Federal Law “On State Support for Large Families,” parents of three or more children can receive a one-time preferential loan or an interest-free loan for the construction or purchase of housing (Article 5, paragraph 1, paragraph 8); receive housing as a matter of priority, free of charge, in houses of state and municipal housing funds - if they prove that they need to improve their living conditions and fit the vague wording “meet additional conditions established by local governments” (Article 5, paragraph 1, paragraph 9 ).

The same law “On State Support...” invites parents of large families to engage in small business or farming and promises state support. Thus, they can receive a one-time plot of land to create a peasant (farm) enterprise, small and other enterprise - and at the same time tax benefits (Article 5, paragraph 1, paragraph 11), or receive a one-time preferential loan or an interest-free loan in priority for the acquisition of machinery, equipment, motor vehicles and for other purposes related to the creation and development of peasant (farm) farms (Article 5, paragraph 1, paragraph 12).

Parents with many children note that benefits such as exemption from transport tax and the right to free parking in the center of Moscow, preferential entry to the zoo and some museums are useful in everyday life.

But of course, people don’t give birth to children for dubious benefits! Many benefits in reality turn out to be a “pleasant trifle” and cannot seriously help a large family financially. All benefits need to be applied for, defending everyone’s “favorite” queues at government agencies and proving one’s “large family”, and some (like the right to free parking) then have to be confirmed and reissued annually... No benefits are worth going to the birth of a second child for. , third and subsequent children.

The President and people's representatives in the State Duma are increasingly expressing the opinion that families with three children have become the norm, and therefore should no longer be considered large. Rumors are being spread from mouth to mouth and on the Internet that the “large family norm” will be raised to 4 children from the beginning of next year, 2016 (there are no such bills yet). Most likely, these are unfounded statements: families with three children are still far from the “norm”. They are still quite rare and, although they are no longer perceived with hostility by others, they have not at all become models to follow. And the people’s representatives themselves are in no hurry to “follow the norms” and have more than 1-2 children.

So why do parents “decide on a third”?

If you try to formulate the answers logically and sort them into pieces, you will get the following reasons:

1. Love for little children

When older children grow up and enter schools and kindergartens, mothers and fathers feel longing and the need to be vital to someone, the desire to “snuggle” a fragrant, plump baby.

1. Communication and clannishness

Parents strive to create a “clan” so that their children are friendly, and there are many of them. Children from large families do not experience a lack of communication.

1. Desire to have a child of a different gender

If the two older children are same-sex, then many families decide on a boy/girl.

1. "Last chance"

Some women, reaching the age of 40, realize that they will soon no longer be able to become mothers and give birth to a third, late child in order to again feel like women, keepers of the hearth, givers of life.

Whatever the rational reasons, often parents simply want to give birth and love another child - because they can, because they have the mental strength and desire to do so.

Three children is great and not at all as difficult as it might seem from the outside. All the difficulties and troubles are more than compensated by the happiness that children bring to the family. There are many myths around having many children, which life smashes to dust. Any mother (of two, three, or more children) will confirm that it is only difficult when the children have a small age difference (less than 2 years), and while all the children are small. As children grow older, it becomes easier. If the difference is 5-6 years, then the difficulties of raising children are not felt so acutely.

In many “multiple children” situations, you can find advantages: for example, when the eldest son goes to school, the second goes to kindergarten, and a baby appears in the family, then the mother, looking after the baby at home, can help the eldest more with his studies; There is no need for after-school care, just as there is no need for a nanny for a kindergartener while he is sick.

Children's jealousy is more frightening. If you prepare properly and behave correctly, jealousy can be minimized and even avoided altogether.

It turns out that the question of the birth of a third child for some of us (simply due to internal prerequisites and personal characteristics) is essentially no different from the question of the birth of the first. If for a woman the role of wife and mother comes first, then with the birth of children she ceases to be tormented by questions about the meaning of life and her purpose and knows exactly why and for whom she lives. The question “why give birth - first, second, third” simply does not arise.

• According to a VTsIOM poll conducted in May 2014, 53% of Russians believe that a family should have two children, but only 38% have that many children. 28% of respondents declared the desirability of three children in a family, but only 8% put their ideas into practice. 10% of Russians are confident that one child is enough (among residents of capital cities there are statistically more families with one child). In general, Russians adhere to patriarchal views - only 1% of respondents suggested that a family could exist harmoniously without children at all.
• Why do Russians think people have children? Among the answers are concern for procreation (36%), caring for children as the meaning of life (19%), children as the main goal of marriage (14%), hope for support in old age (9%), and simply happiness (6%).
• Why then don't people have children? 31% of Russians simply have no idea why. Another 18% suggested that there is not enough money for children, 14% - that there is too much selfishness. The answers also included poor health (10%), inability to have children (9%), personal choice, beliefs (7%), and fear of responsibility (6%).
• In 2015, 18,000 mothers in Moscow gave birth to their third or more children.
• In 2009, the Order of “Parental Glory” was established in Russia (for parents and adoptive parents who raised 7 or more children). Since its inception, 281 families have been awarded this distinction. In 2014, 20 families received the order. In 2015, 25 families have already been awarded, including two single parents.
• According to the Association of Large Families of Moscow, there are 104,088 families registered in the capital with the status of large families, of which 125 are raising 10 or more children.

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You've probably heard opinions that the eldest child in the family grows up to be the most responsible, and only children are often selfish and demanding. Is it true that your character and talents can be directly related to what kind of child you are in the family?

Today website I decided to figure out how our character and intelligence are related to birth order and whether they are connected at all.

The theory of this relationship was put forward in the 1920s by Alfred Adler, a colleague and friend of Sigmund Freud. According to Adler, the order in which a child is born in a family is of decisive importance.

• Firstborn (eldest child). According to Adler, the first child is conservative, seeks power and is predisposed to leadership. Accustomed to caring for and protecting his younger ones, he also grows up caring, prone to fatherhood (motherhood) and often takes the initiative into his own hands.
• Second (middle) child. His older brother or sister sets the pace. Often strives to break the records of his elders. The pace of development is higher. Ambitious and not prone to selfishness. He can set unreasonably high goals for himself, which increases the number of failures, although often failures only harden him.
• Last child (youngest). As a rule, he is surrounded by care and attention from all sides. May experience feelings of inferiority and lack of independence. But he is highly motivated to surpass his elders. Often becomes the best in one field of his choice (the best athlete or musician), and also quickly finds a common language with people. Although the younger one can often be more irresponsible and frivolous than older children.
• Only child. He often competes with his father. Usually under the mother's control for too long and expecting the same protection and care from others. The main feature of this lifestyle is dependence on attention and egocentrism. He often has difficulties in relationships with peers. However, one cannot deny his perfectionism, and often, in spite of everything, he achieves his goals.

The theory that birth order influences personality and IQ has become quite popular and has divided scientific opinion. Some completely disagree, while others are convinced that it plays a decisive role in the child's character. Scientists from the University of Leipzig and the Johannes Gutenberg University in Mainz (Germany) conducted the study and studied more than 20,000 adults from the US, Germany and the UK. In this very study, they compared siblings in families and their birth order.

It turned out that older children score higher on intelligence tests, although not as significant. Scientists have found no evidence that birth order affects emotional stability and imagination.

Another study found more evidence that birth order influences personality formation. Scientists analyzed the characters of 370,000 high school students from the United States.

The main conclusions they made: firstborns are more honest and prone to leadership, as well as less sociable and resistant to stress. Middle children are more conscientious and diligent. And the younger ones are open and sociable. Children who were the only ones in the family are often nervous, but at the same time quite sociable and social.

In fact, it is worth recognizing that these studies have a number of inaccuracies, since they do not take into account such important social factors as nationality, education, wealth and family relationships. Yes, birth order has a certain influence on character due to the different conditions in which children find themselves. But we should not forget that the main role is still played by the relationship between parents and child and upbringing, which can be individual for each of the children in the family.

How not to go crazy with three children

Sometimes childless and small-children friends who drop by for tea and pies ask: “Tell me, how do you manage to do this? Three children, a lot of work, laurels of Turkish housewives (this means daily cleaning and washing of floors and common areas), and you also have time to bake pies every day! How are you still alive today?”

I’m sharing the recipe for free: I don’t know.

I don’t know when I manage to do everything, and how I manage not to go crazy. And what’s interesting is that I remember very well those blessed times when I had one child. Peaceful, surprisingly calm Konstantin did not let me do anything. I didn’t have time to do anything, ate instant Chinese noodles, washed the floors once a week and quietly went crazy from the hopelessness of what was happening.

Sometimes, completely desperate, I went with the child to my grandmother, and the two of us could no longer manage to do anything. And this was my calmest son, who did not require to be constantly carried in arms, who slept like an angel both day and night, who did not suffer from nightmares or infantile intestinal colic.

Looking back, I understand that it was much harder for me then than now, when I have three children - 14, 13 and 3 years old, respectively.

Years passed. More precisely, only 1.5 years passed, and I had two children. Enriched by my beautiful boy Temochka, I drank to the full the joys of motherhood: from 6 to 9 in the evening the child suffered from colic, did not leave my arms until 7 months inclusive, sobbed at night and picked up viruses of unknown origin from neighbors sneezing behind the wall from the other entrance.

But what’s strange is that even with such a “problem” child, I had time for cooking, cleaning, washing baby diapers by hand with grated laundry soap, and even for my personal life.

But in terms of creating hemorrhoids per capita, no one has surpassed my marvelous youngest son Andryushka. This is a scary man! Until he was 2.5 years old, he believed that sleeping at night was a setup invented by loving parents solely for the purpose of building various kinds of intrigues and conspiracies against him, his beloved. Therefore, until the age of 2.5 years, the child entertained us and himself by waking up at about 3 o'clock in the morning for one sole purpose - to sing.

It sang loudly, boomingly and loudly. The melody of the songs performed clearly included “Bandera Rossa”, “La Marseillaise” and “Bella Ciao”. Maybe there was “Internationale” too, but we didn’t catch it?

By this time, the eldest sons had already grown up considerably, therefore, on the one hand, some household chores or fussing with the baby could very partially be transferred to them, which, by the way, they did very willingly, since they did not feel a “competitor” in him. Rather, they perceived him as a living toy, like a puppy or kitten: so funny, touching.

On the other hand, can you imagine how teenagers eat during puberty? No? I'll tell you now. They don't even eat. They are sweeping. For example, the eldest son (12 years old) comes home from school and says: “Mother, I had lunch at school. Do we have anything to eat?” Next - on the lighter side - a couple of plates of borscht, navy-style pasta and one and a half liters of milk with some kind of pie or bun.

Therefore, you have to cook every day: you cook a big pot of soup, stew potatoes with meat, bake pies with cabbage - well, wow, you don’t have to go near the stove for a couple of days. But no! And by the evening, the saucepan is shining with pristine cleanliness, the frying pan keeps her company, and on the plate lies a lonely, lonely pie, left to the mother by caring children. “There’s a sponge hanging on a stake, let’s start all over again!” (With)

Among other things, in my house there are only men who are genetically unable to maintain cleanliness. Well, they don't know how to do this. They might be happy, but genetics don’t allow it. Therefore, having read on the Internet about how Turkish housewives shake all beds every day, wash floors and common areas, wash ovens, hoods and kitchen cabinets every other day, go through wardrobes once a week and brush dust from balconies, I immediately felt ashamed . The laurels of Turkish housewives beat against my chest like the ashes of Klaas. True, to my shame, I stopped at daily cleaning of floors and common areas, but I do it every day. Like Our Father. Not counting the top-to-bottom cleaning, collecting socks of varying degrees of wear and tearing out a lot of interesting things from various places not intended for this.

I don't have a nanny. And there is no housekeeper either. Because six months of paying for some nanny means that the children and I are left without a summer trip somewhere to the sea. I can't do this. That's why I do everything myself. I don’t know when. I can't imagine. I have the same 24 hours in a day as I did 10-12 years ago, but now I manage to do much more in a day than when I was the mother of only one child.

Pondering this article, I came to the conclusion that all the “lifesavers for a mother of many children” can be combined into four points. Of course, everything stated below is exclusively my IMHO, I do not pretend to be the ultimate truth. So.

Firstly, a child at any age is not a helpless disabled person. He can fetch the pot himself, put his plate in the sink, and give his little brother a lost pacifier. It would seem like little things, but remember that a penny saves a ruble.

It's little things like these that save time. And when the children are already adults, and the husband, in fact, is also already a big boy, they can be entrusted with a lot. But at the same time, it is important to keep a fine line between helping your mother and enslaving her.

A child, no matter what size he is in the family, should have a full-fledged childhood. Therefore, in my opinion, he should have a clearly defined range of responsibilities, such as taking out the trash can in the evening, going to the store once a week, walking with the baby for an hour on Saturday, and the rest of the time is his. Inviolable, except, of course, for some force majeure circumstances.

Secondly, household appliances are our everything. To some, a bread machine and a dishwasher may seem like a luxury. A washing machine, thank God, in my opinion, no longer seems like a luxury to anyone. But these devices help save a lot of time. So I go about my business: I walk with my child, I check my older sons’ homework, I knit a sweater or work with the baby, and good machines will wash the dishes for me, wash my clothes, and knead the dough. Realistically - 1.5 hours, and you can make pies.

And thirdly, “the eggs discipline the chicken.” It is impossible to teach a woman how to properly manage her time. This is very individual and comes with experience. Any tasks seem to be divided by themselves into main and secondary ones. Plus, of course, when the child is alone, a lot of energy, time and nerves are spent on all sorts of unconstructive worries: “Did I swaddle him correctly? Isn't he hot? Isn't it cold? And he has a fever - what a nightmare! Where to run, what to grab onto?”

But when we already have experience, all actions are worked out to the point of automatism: we know at the subconscious level what and how to do at the moment, and do not waste time on mental torment.

And last, but not least: any child should know that mom is also a person, and not just an appendage to the kitchen stove and Yandex-there-is-everything. And this same mother also has the right to personal time.

And when my children understood this, everything in my life fell into place. I wish the same for you..

Who we will ultimately become and what character we will have is influenced by many factors and even what kind of child in the family we were born. Although parents pay almost no attention to this, when shaping the child’s character, this factor will be embedded in him from the very first day of birth.

Scientists and psychologists have drawn a relationship between a person’s character and what kind of child he is in the family. And this is what happened:

1. The first child is usually extremely intelligent and reliable in relationships. First children almost always choose professions that require dedication and commitment. That’s why there are so many of them, for example, doctors. Parents often ask older children to look after younger ones, which makes them responsible and reliable.

2. The second child in the family often receives help from his older brother or sister, so he often persistently demands freedom. And he grows up more independent from his parents. They are also almost always more spoiled: when any disputes arise in the family, younger children can usually count on more support than older ones.

3. Rivalry often develops between the eldest and youngest children in the family. When children are small, this manifests itself in the fact that the older child begins to be capricious more than usual.

Experts say that in practice, parents fail to give equal amounts of attention to both children. For this reason, if there are two children in a family, the eldest will most likely be more intelligent, although more religious. But younger children are usually more relaxed, more confident and not so afraid of change.

4. When there are three children in a family, the middle children often complain that they have to wear clothes inherited from their older brothers and sisters. On the other hand, they are usually calmer than younger and older children; they perceive adversity and quarrels more easily. Usually, it is the middle-aged children in the family who are the most emotionally stable.

The first children often turn out to be leaders, activists, social workers, and managers. Among them, for example, George Bush, Oprah Winfrey, Winston Churchill.

Second children in a family more often than usual grow up to be independent specialists, entrepreneurs, and creative workers - all due to the fact that if there are usually three or more children in a family, then the middle children are given more freedom.

The middle children in the family were Donald Trump, Julia Roberts, Jay Leno, Madonna and Britney Spears. They receive the least amount of parental attention.

The youngest children in the family usually turn out to be talented know-it-alls - programmers, lawyers, consultants, psychologists, scientists. The youngest children were Bill Gates, Howard Stern, Gandhi, Cameron Diaz.

Interestingly, experts also say that not only the serial number of the child in the family matters, but also the age difference between him and his brothers and sisters.

Psychologists believe that the optimal difference between several children should be about 3 years. Then children argue least in childhood and form the strongest friendships in adulthood. If this difference is smaller, there will inevitably be rivalry between children.

On the other hand, the greater the age difference between children, the greater the alienation between them. Caused mainly because the older brother will not perceive the younger one as his equal.

The researchers emphasize that their general conclusions apply only to most people, but exceptions to the rules are always possible.

BrandNewDay asked the opinion of a crisis and family psychologist:

In fact, there are certain patterns in the development and formation of the characters of children born in the same family. But, as was rightly said, there are always exceptions.

The most important thing for parents to understand is that no matter how a child is born into a family, he still requires special attention. If a child feels support, understanding, and affection from loved ones, then this lays a solid foundation for the harmonious development of his personality in the future.

The child grows up self-confident, morally stable, trusts the world and people around him. And, conversely, if a child from early childhood does not receive enough parental love and feels “unnecessary,” then in his adult life he will experience certain difficulties